It's Over

I can distinctly remember squirming as my wonderful labor and delivery nurse eyed Isaac's latch, before pausing for a second and moving him to get him properly attached. I was so uncomfortable then with her gaze and that she touched me while I was exposed.

Little did I know how big of a role nursing would have in my life, or how much I would talk about it, with strangers, friends and family.

It's a wonder to me now, for something that I thought was quite peculiar, would eventually drive me to purchase drugs from Canada in an effort to continue!

All that to say, that in the last almost 6 years of motherhood, I've spent 46 months breastfeeding, and now, I'm done.

One of my most beloved acts of mothering is completed.

  
I had so hoped that I could nurse Naomi longer than Miri even, since I was home and wouldn't need to be pumping, but when I started to struggle with supply at only two or three months, I knew that the odds were not in my favor. I started using domperidone when Nomi was around 4 months old and when I maxed it out, I was able to keep up with her demand. And then she hit a growth spurt and there was no keeping up. I set a goal to reach 6 months and barely limped through to it, but I did.

I will always treasure my memories of milk drunk babies, sweet milky breath and warm bodies snuggled at my chest. I'm forever sad that I will not be able to keep nursing Naomi, as I didn't have near enough time kissing her hand as she explored my face.

I thank God for the experience and for the accessibility of formula.