This past weekend was my annual girls' weekend with my college teammates. I have yet to attend a weekend for the full duration, but considering how touch and go it was for awhile, I'm super glad I was even able to do the almost 24 hrs I was able to this year!
It's amazing how a lot bit of conversation & a little bit alcohol can really bring out what is on your heart. These girl friends and I have shared some of the closest moments of our lives together, or at least, the 18-22 year old version of them and have seen a lot of growth in our 10 years of friendship.
I felt like a babbling idiot through fair portions of our evening though, as we crossed into conversations that I didn't feel prepared to have. About spouses, and children, the past and the future. I hadn't developed a firm opinion about some things that I shared, as I hadn't even fully addressed them until the words, the poorly poorly chosen words were on my tongue.
It didn't take long to realize how many insecurities I've been brushing under the rug lately.
Things that I just haven't had time to deal with.
Like how little Tony and I have been seeing of each other.
The fact that I only get 1/2 a year with Isaac before he goes to Kindergarten. I feel like I've worked every minute of every hour of his childhood and am feeling a lot of guilt that he'll have the shortest time with me. [assuming of course that spending time with me would be a good thing!]
Immense pressure to reach new clients, who will have new friends, who will become new referrals, because omgosh, it's sink or swim time!
I felt like such a mom. Such a completely unattractive, wearing what was clean, absolute fuddy duddy Mom.
The best part is that two of the listed above resulted in my leaving my business cards with the male servers we had throughout the night.
Hello! I'm still a woman and here I am leaving my business cards around.
I'm sure they got a good laugh about the "happily married" woman giving her number out.
Thank goodness, the one saving grace, is that my number actually isn't on my card
[I decided long ago to omit it, because I'm rarely, if ever, available by phone call!]
So, Girls Weekend 2013 will be remembered as the year I was giving my number out.