Bittersweet :: Woodlawn Drive

Monday, October 28, 2013

This weekend we had an all hands on deck work party to give Tony a little boost. He's been busting his butt trying to squeeze out every last drop of the day to ready our little house for rent. What he's been able to accomplish is amazing, but the man can only do so much after work, without seeing his family for days on end.
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I've tried to remain very neutral about this house since purchasing our new house, because just as it's turning out to be, it's a little catch 22. It's like a piece of static lint. You keep picking it off and yet there it is, just clinging to you. I didn't want to be sad saying goodbye, because it wasn't rented and it wasn't sold, and here she now sits, our problem.

That said, being in the rooms of the house that took us from newlyweds to a rambunctious family of five, was extremely bittersweet. At every turn I wanted to see the face of one of my children. It's a weird sort of mourning to be in your first house, removed of your belongings and your family.

We painted the walls the same color as we did the main floor bathroom and I love it. I love it so much I wish we'd done it two years ago. Would a can of paint have made me more content in this house? I have so many blog posts loathing this house, filled with way too many hopes for a house with more space. And yet . . .
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Again, it's just a very odd spot to be in. Call it buyers remorse, hindsight 20/20 or just a little scared to see how the future plays out, but I miss this house. We feel like we are moving in the direction God wants us. We knew how big of a change it would be to remove ourselves from the Cities, making outer edge suburbs a destination. It's just such a huge difference.
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Primarily though, I miss feeling like a family. As I've said, Tony is spending every spare second at the house, finishing the basement and everything else he can think of to get us a renter. Since Oct 11th, we've spent my birthday together & the night we did our family photos [after which Tony went to the house] . . . and that's the extent of our family time, save for 30 min to an hour here or there.

I hate to be second guessing, as I know it will only be a matter of time to make our new house feel like our home, but my heart aches for it right now.
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A few have questioned the details, so I'd love to share the listing. Please feel free to circulate, it'd help for sure! Mounds View house listing.

9 comments:

Bekah said...

For the record, I don't not think you sound like a brat (re:Instagram ) at all. We have moved five times in five years, and so I can tell you from experience that it is normal and healthy to mourn some parts of change, even wonderful change like a new house! Of course it is somewhat painful to see where your babies were babies, but soon your new house will start to feel SO right. Transition is the pits - give it time! (And good luck with selling/renting. That house is adorable and someone will see that!)

Bekah said...

Woah pardon my double negative! I'm on my phone. I do NOT think you sound like a brat! Haha darn phone!

Kelly Bartlett said...

Leah, it is scary and very emotional to make big moves in our lives. We built our house 8 years ago and to this day I still have dreams of our old house. It was small and never would have fit our family of five, but it had character that our new home will never have. But like you, I also know that we are in a home that suits our family and our needs now. You are in a very lovely home now and the nosey and completely-in-to-home-layouts side of me is really wanting to see more pictures of your new home. I wish you great luck with a renter in your old home. It will happen. I've learned from your saying of "He provides".

Gina said...

The house looks adorable! I hear you on just wanting some family time!! My hubby's been working on a home project (that needs to be done before the snow flies), but it's been me at work or me alone with the kiddos so he can finish for going on 2 months, save for a pumpkin patch outing here & birthday party there. I'm looking forward to nothing to do but hanging inside & snuggling:-)

Amy said...

Leah, I can totally relate. We bought our first home (all 824 square feet of it!) in St. Louis Park before we were married and had children. I loved our home, but as our family grew in size, my patience grew much smaller. We needed more space ASAP. I was convinced that a bigger home would make our growing family happ(ier). 1 month before baby #2 arrived, we took a leap of faith and bought another house further west into surburbia. And we became landlords. Much like you, I had this really weird sense of remorse, and longing for the memories of "where it all began". We have SO MANY great memories of our first home, I wondered if we would ever fill our new home with the same. We lived there for 6 years: got ENGAGED in that home, married, pregnant, brought my babies home there. We are now one year into our move and I will be completely honest with you - it seems to have taken about this long for it to finally feel like 'home'. You will get there, too. It will all start to settle in soon enough. Wishing you the best in this season of change.
Amy

Meghan Gibson said...

It is scary to make such a big life change, but more often than not these things turn out for the better! Your old house is beautiful but your new house will likely be even better, and you will make as many memories there as a family as you grow into your new home. Congratulations on taking the plunge and having faith :)

Laura said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Laura said...

Hi Leah. My name is Laura Schueller and I live in Tulsa, OK, now, but I grew up in New Brighton. I don't remember how I came upon your blog, but I have always enjoyed it. Most importantly, because of your Christian beliefs and family life. I think I was drawn to your blog even more once I realized you were in MN. I didn't realize until recently that you lived in Mounds View. I graduated from Irondale and grew up in the neighborhood right beside the high school. Just random tidbit of information. We will be in MN for Christmas so we are in the area periodically. Congratulations on your new home! God will continue to bless you and your family because you are always seeking his guidance.

Andrea Weiss said...

Aw, lady, I feel ya. I'm excited to build one day and this house we are currently in has so many flaws but I know without a shadow of a doubt, I will cry when we leave this place. I will remember sitting on the living room floor opening up gifts the morning after our wedding, painting the nurseries, bringing my babies home, throwing parties....

I think it's a little sad to look back and know someone else will call your safe haven their home. It's only natural. But you'll soon start making wonderful memories in your new place and these feelings will fade away.

 

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