This weekend we had an all hands on deck work party to give Tony a little boost. He's been busting his butt trying to squeeze out every last drop of the day to ready our little house for rent. What he's been able to accomplish is amazing, but the man can only do so much after work, without seeing his family for days on end.
I've tried to remain very neutral about this house since purchasing our new house, because just as it's turning out to be, it's a little catch 22. It's like a piece of static lint. You keep picking it off and yet there it is, just clinging to you. I didn't want to be sad saying goodbye, because it wasn't rented and it wasn't sold, and here she now sits, our problem.
That said, being in the rooms of the house that took us from newlyweds to a rambunctious family of five, was extremely bittersweet. At every turn I wanted to see the face of one of my children. It's a weird sort of mourning to be in your first house, removed of your belongings and your family.
We painted the walls the same color as we did the main floor bathroom and I love it. I love it so much I wish we'd done it two years ago. Would a can of paint have made me more content in this house? I have so many blog posts loathing this house, filled with way too many hopes for a house with more space. And yet . . .
Again, it's just a very odd spot to be in. Call it buyers remorse, hindsight 20/20 or just a little scared to see how the future plays out, but I miss this house. We feel like we are moving in the direction God wants us. We knew how big of a change it would be to remove ourselves from the Cities, making outer edge suburbs a destination. It's just such a huge difference.
Primarily though, I miss feeling like a family. As I've said, Tony is spending every spare second at the house, finishing the basement and everything else he can think of to get us a renter. Since Oct 11th, we've spent my birthday together & the night we did our family photos [after which Tony went to the house] . . . and that's the extent of our family time, save for 30 min to an hour here or there.
I hate to be second guessing, as I know it will only be a matter of time to make our new house feel like our home, but my heart aches for it right now.
A few have questioned the details, so I'd love to share the listing. Please feel free to circulate, it'd help for sure! Mounds View house listing.