I have to admit.

Tuesday, July 16, 2013

The lack of blogging recently hasn't been entirely due to wedding season, two under two plus one or my return to work. Thanks to google alerts, which I set up years ago and never found to be much use for anything, I stumbled across some unkind words directly related to me.

They gave me major pause.

At first, I was enraged, then embarrassed, then just extremely hurt and sad, to be so misunderstood. Well, some things were misunderstood, others . . . I'm not sure why they even read if they dislike who I am as person so very much.

So I stepped away, blogging only the bare minimum.

Photo dump here.

Milestone post there.

The residual problem of slowing down my posts will only effect me in the future though. See, I don't have scheduled "content," I don't do guest bloggers to keep the traffic coming and I usually hit publish just as soon as the final period ends the sentence, because this blog from the beginning has always been for me. It's not a business or a brand. It's where I sort through my feelings, with the methodical tapping of keys. That's why I may contradict myself from one day to another, one year to another, because I'm not crafting a story, I'm sharing messy words of an imperfect woman.

I don't want to shirk from posting any longer, as the archives of this blog are absolutely treasured to me. I don't want the memories of this time in our lives as a new family of five to slowly disappear, as they will, if I don't write them down.
Fontaine Family Fun Day vol. 03 :: Sea Life at MOA. #fontainefive #F3Day
 

26 comments:

Jessie said...

Tell people to kiss your butt. It's just as easy to NOT look at your blog...as it is to navigate to it! This is YOUR space...and you have complete free will to write what you want. We love you Leah. Keep expressing your soul as you will. After all, that's what blogs are meant for...right?

'HoulaMom said...

People feel empowered by the crutch of anonymity. I'm so sorry hurtful things were said about you. I don't 'know' you, but I've followed you and your journey since before Ezra was born, when we were on the bump at the same time. You've always been genuine and more kind than a lot of people deserve. I hope you continue to share about your adorable family, regardless of the misplaced negativity towards your blog.

Rachel Delk said...

I am totally shocked by this, truly. I only just discovered your blog a little over two weeks ago, but I fell in love instantly and I've perused your archives for days on end. My husband and I got married last year, and your blog has been a true inspiration to me. Your words are so sweet, thoughtful, and honest, and I've felt so refreshed and inspired to be the best little wife I can be to my dear husband. We're only 23 and kids are still a couple of years away, but your blog has really inspired me to pause and enjoy every day of our marriage, both now (pre-kids) and later (post-kids). Your tagline has really stuck with me as well - "It may not always be bliss, but it's always a blessing." I absolutely love that. I really cannot imagine any reason for someone to speak ill of you or your blog. Please don't let the grumpy people get to you! You have had such an impact on me, and I'm sure others feel the same!

adventuremamablog said...

The other day I just read an article about Internet trolling-- "Internet trolls: What to do about the scourge of the Web" (http://www.cnn.com/2013/07/11/world/internet-trolling/index.html?sr=fb071113internettrolls3p).

Seeing this kind of meanness around every corner gives me some anxiety about raising children in this world. It's astounding sometimes.

You would never trade lives with them, not in a million years... so brush it off and do what makes you happy.

Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit. A sharp tongue does not mean you have a keen mind... all that jazz. ;)

BGH said...

I love reading your blog and wait to see new posts. You have a darling family and I can't get over your little girls hair and how adorable it is!! Keep posting!!!

Jenny T said...

People can suck it...you just keep doing what you've been doing. There's plenty of people that love your blog. Including me :)

Kristal said...

Jerks. I'd wondered if that thread would make you shy away from blogging. I hate that it was temporarily effective, but so glad you are gonna write on!

"I'm sharing messy words of an imperfect woman." Beautiful sentence. Aren't we all? That's what connects us all, really. Love you and your blog.

Gina said...

I love that you can easily own contradicting yourself and don't schedule posts/material. I'm sure I contradict myself too, but it's probably due to pesonal growth over time. BTW-I delivered in Wyoming, not at Woodwinds...sorta behind on the blogging myself. :-)

kari said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
kari said...

Leah, I'm so sorry to hear this has happened to you. The internet can be a beautiful place and it can be a horrible place. I have loved the person you are and your blog since we "met" on the nest all those years ago. I'm so glad you will still be blogging.

Becca said...

I recently found your blog through your IG (you are close friends with a friend of mine). I also too recently had someone actually post a comment on my blog not only misunderstanding what I was posting, but attacking my character and integrity as well. My immediate thought was why do you even read my writings if I am so terrible? And then I actually went and edited the offending post, like I truly had something to be ashamed of. Write what you feel and think, because I find myself oftentimes feeling exactly what you are brave enough to publicly post. Thank you!

Meredith said...

I think I know which website/forum you're talking about. I used to check it kinda obsessively, terrified that I'd find my blog. I haven't had time to do that lately, which is probably a blessing in disguise for me. I never thought it through to how I would feel or what I would do if I ever DID find my blog, and I'm so sorry that you had to experience that.

I loved this line in your post: "That's why I may contradict myself from one day to another, one year to another, because I'm not crafting a story, I'm sharing messy words of an imperfect woman."

That gets a standing ovation from me. I feel the same way. And I think you're pretty incredible. Honesty and transparency are far more important than perfection, in my book at least.

Ashlie said...

I love your space here in the blogosphere. You're honest and it's refreshing. So many bloggers are here to fabricate and paint this gorgeous picture and hardly if ever choose to be real. I think you're doing an awesome job.

Kathy said...

Yes, they can kiss your butt! I was just talking to Leslie this weekend about how much I love your blog, and felt so special that you commented on her Instagram pic from my bachelorette weekend!(longtime lurker)

Molly said...

I know the website you're talking about. I perused it once when someone mentioned something about it on twitter. I was seriously shocked that something like that existed! And then to see a thread about your blog was like whaaaaat?! I couldn't believe my eyes! Keep writing from the heart, Leah! You're a beautiful woman and mama inside and out!

AJ said...

Don't pay any attention to them. Don't go to that website anymore. It's full of hate and negativity. I love who you are. Keep writing. For you, for Tony, for your 3 beautiful babies. And...for us. Hugs, friend!

Claudia said...

I get to be the mom here!! I will tell you what you will one day tell your own children when confronted with unhappy people hell bent on bringing them down. "Listen to the best .. IGNORE the rest.." I agree with comment that people hide behind anonymity. You keep on, sharing your story as it writes itself each day!

Blue-Eyed Bride said...

You are awesome. Your blog is one of my favorites. It is for YOU and that is all that matters. Ignore the haters. Seriously. Just forget you even know that stuff exists. I love you!

ashavenue said...

Keep on keeping on Leah! You have something to offer. Don't let them take it from you.

Randine said...

Eeeks Leah. I found it. UGh. I am so sorry. :(

Julia Goolia said...

Blech. Hate it. But glad you aren't throwing in the towel just yet ;)

Emily said...

I am always surprised that people take the time out of their days to write hateful and hurtful things that honestly don't affect them. I mean, I don't love every blog I come across and some annoy me, but then I just don't read them.

I'm sorry you had to read hurtful things about yourself. Keep being you.

IKM said...

Found your blog randomly and I love reading your posts and your honesty. Don't let others bring you down.

theresap said...

I have been reading your blog for a long time and yours is one of my favorites because of how completely open and honest you are. You make others smile and you make us feel good as mothers and people because you are so honest about the realities life (which makes us all feel that we are not alone). There is no pretending with you and that's so great! Keep doing what you are doing... don't change a thing!

Megan said...

Leah, I have always loved your blog and how honest you are. You were one of the bloggers that inspired me to keep blogging (even though I'm horrible about blogging regularly).

What I think is so sad is that grown women are taking time out of their day, and time spent with their kids that they probably have, to bring another woman down. They see you, a beautiful woman, handsome hubby, (I can say that right?) and 3 beautiful babies, with a successful photography business that YOU built yourself, all the while holding down a full-time corporate job - and they're jealous. Plain and simple. That's what women do when they want what others have: they bring those people down with their own words because it makes themselves feel better, even though it's obvious how unhappy they are.

Megan said...

I'm on my phone and I got cut off but I just wanted to add: remember, if these women were so happy with their own lives, they would be enjoying their time with their husbands, kids, their jobs, their hobbies - their LIVES! Instead, they're sitting on the freaking Internet gossiping about a woman they don't even know. Klassy. And you know what else, this is where bullying comes from. How are their kids going to know better if their own mothers think it's ok to bring another person down?!

Seriously - don't give them another thought. They don't deserve it. They suck. You don't. End of story. ;)

 

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