The lack of blogging recently hasn't been entirely due to wedding season, two under two plus one or my return to work. Thanks to google alerts, which I set up years ago and never found to be much use for anything, I stumbled across some unkind words directly related to me.
They gave me major pause.
At first, I was enraged, then embarrassed, then just extremely hurt and sad, to be so misunderstood. Well, some things were misunderstood, others . . . I'm not sure why they even read if they dislike who I am as person so very much.
So I stepped away, blogging only the bare minimum.
Photo dump here.
Milestone post there.
The residual problem of slowing down my posts will only effect me in the future though. See, I don't have scheduled "content," I don't do guest bloggers to keep the traffic coming and I usually hit publish just as soon as the final period ends the sentence, because this blog from the beginning has always been for me. It's not a business or a brand. It's where I sort through my feelings, with the methodical tapping of keys. That's why I may contradict myself from one day to another, one year to another, because I'm not crafting a story, I'm sharing messy words of an imperfect woman.
I don't want to shirk from posting any longer, as the archives of this blog are absolutely treasured to me. I don't want the memories of this time in our lives as a new family of five to slowly disappear, as they will, if I don't write them down.