Tuesday, May 28, 2013
But it hasn't.
And I get it, no one wants to hear me complain about losing weight. Everyone tells me that it's only been six weeks. That I'm too hard on myself. Even that I need to watch the example I establish for my daughter. That I disrespect my body, which has been the vessel for three beautiful children.
It's just that I don't care if it's only been six weeks. I feel healthy. I feel ready. I am hard on myself and I know that, but if we don't establish high expectations for ourselves we'll settle for just about anything else. I welcomed being chastised about being my daughter's role model, because body image is definitely something to be conscious of and cultivate. I would not want to hinder Miriam's perception of herself, but I do want to exemplify strength to her!
I went shopping yesterday and couldn't find anything. And I do mean anything. I wasn't looking for cuts and styles that could maybe work until I lose the weight and then fit a smaller body. I was specifically looking for forgiving cuts, favorite colors and had no problem grabbing bigger sizes. As I commiserated with my friend Ashley, unfortunately there just isn't room in the budget for an all new post partum wardrobe, but one outfit? One outfit to feel confident, comfortable and a smidgen of pretty? Why does that have to be darn near impossible?
It's just highly irritating that I can't seem to voice this frustration without a pat on the head or an admonition. It's not like I expect to suddenly have a lithe body. I never have. I do however expect that if I'm putting the work in that I'll see a slight change, somewhere! Additionally, I'm just looking for one outfit that I feel comfortable in that doesn't involve an elastic waist band.