Remember when I wrote that this blog felt heartless and that I wanted to live for the small moments again? I'm trying, I'm definitely trying.
There are these delicious moments in our crazy life as a family of four that I need to cling to, like:
- Ezra yanking a toy away from Isaac, sporting the most joyful smile as he scuttles away as quick as his little limbs will carry him, knowing full well that the shrieks from Isaac will be followed by a chase.
- When Isaac got upset with Tony for removing the "prayer chair" from his room, to swap it out due to Tony's chair leg cracking. Oh he was so perturbed that Tony would dare to take it from him! Every night we pray with him, as I hold him on the chair in his room.We finally convinced him we could still pray on the other chair.
- How Ezra will toddle to Isaac's door when he's napping if I ask him where his big brother is, and proceed to yell "Ayyyyyyyye!" in his attempt to say Isaac's name. And when Isaac finally wakes up from his nap, the beautiful grin on Ezra's face as he goes straight to the crib, ignoring Isaac's toys, just to proudly put a hand on his brother, as if to say, "I found him again! Look, this is my brother."
- Isaac having a conversation with Ezra in the car about absolute preschooler nonsense and ending with a placating "You know that Ezra. You know." Complete with an arched eyebrow.
They're just little slices of life and I can't always capture it with my camera. I just need to live full in those seconds.
Wednesday, September 26, 2012
Remember when I wrote that this blog felt heartless and that I wanted to live for the small moments again? I'm trying, I'm definitely trying.
Monday, September 24, 2012
This weekend was a flash in the pan, but appropriately long as well. I had Friday off for my first of two September Friday weddings at Hazeltine National Golf Club. I haven't been feeling Caribou's fall offerings, so I made my way to a Starbucks.
For those of you new around here, this is almost earth shattering news. It almost never happens and can only occur without Tony, or else, well, it doesn't happen! Several blogging/IG buddies have posted about the salted carmel cake pops and I knew I had to try one. It did not disappointing, additionally, neither did the salted carmel mocha! Although I hate that I can't just order a small, but have to frantically search the board to make sure I say the correct unfamiliar word!
The caffeine was perfect fuel to get geared up for my first wedding to include kilts. Such a fantastic story, my Friday couple actually met at Hazeltine, where the bride worked and where my Scottish groom won the US Amateur in 2006. God cares about the details you guys, nothing is impossible, not even being born on different continents.They had an awesome bagpiper to welcome everyone to their ceremony.
Saturday and Sunday then were just extremely laid back days. Saturday I was exhausted and laid down when the boys did. It was the perfect reset.
Sunday, after church, we again just laid low. We had some leftovers and played in the back yard. Tony did some yard work and I periodically did some photo work. I love Friday weddings for the fact that I still get to feel like I have a weekend.
ps:: It's not often that I think it, but can we talk about how much Isaac looks like me in the above picture? I think it's seeing the chin and the dimples. So often everyone pegs him as the spitting image of Tony and I readily agree, I just love seeing some of my features jump out of him in the above picture. :)
Wednesday, September 19, 2012
Let's talk about this blog. I know, I know, it's usually taboo and yanks everyone back to a more safe distance from each other. I think it's very fair to say to everyone that this blog has been very surface level lately, almost akin to this conversation:
Friend 1: "Hey, how are you?"
Friend 2: "Good, you?"
Friend 1: "Fine, fine. How about that weather?"
Friend 2: "Crazy, huh?"
That's not what pulls you in, it's not how great conversations begin or friendships are built up. And usually, an in person conversation with me is never that surface level, love it or hate it. I'm always authentic to me. It goes something a little more along the lines of:
Me: "Hey, what's up?"
Friend: "Not much, you?"
Me: "Well this morning, Isaac started the day off fighting over clothes, but then Tony got him giggling by calling Ezra a stinky butt and before you know it all three boys were giggling uncontrollably!"
I'm not a small talk girl. It's a waste of time. It's heartless. It's a void of time without meaning.
And I apologize that this blog has been doing pretty much the same thing, but . . . sadly, it's also a great representation of how our lives have actually been going lately. The blog is running on fumes and so are we.
No, Tony and I aren't in a desperate place in our marriage. Technically, even on a bad day, I don't think you'd get either of us to even say we're hurting, but we're also not strong. There's just been too much work and not enough upkeep, in our relationship, in our house, but thankfully we've been good about the kids. :)
This isn't a post to tell you that I'm closing down shop or that I'm taking a hiatus, because overall, I've always thoroughly enjoyed blogging. It's something I love to do. To share photos, my faith and express my thoughts, hopefully well, in type, so I won't be leaving it.
Hopefully, when this season winds down.
Hopefully, when we find joy in all of the little moments.
Hopefully, when I pick up the camera for personal pictures again, I'll be able to resume the conversation like normal.
YAY! For the first time since I began skin cancer screenings, I actually walked out of the dermatologist's office this morning without their removing any of my skin for biopsy.
All of my freckles are safe!
And, this is your friendly reminder to make acquaintance with your dermatologist. And for heaven's sake! If you don't have one, make an appointment stat. :)
Monday, September 17, 2012
This would be much more appropriate for a facebook page if I had one for this blog, but I digress. With the cooler temps, I'm jonesing for some good fall cooking! The more savory the better.
About the only certified legit fall recipe I have is for pumpkin bars. I stake my reputation in the kitchen on them, so I'm set in that regards.
For all other fields, please share with me your favorite fall recipes!
Friday, September 14, 2012
Once upon a time, we thought that Isaac was an easy baby and a comical toddler. He was very vocal and learned to use two word phrases early on, and that's when we started to realize we might be in more trouble than we realized.
And we have been, ever since.
Isaac is certainly his own person. Sometimes, I will catch him paying attention to the status quo or acting like he sees others doing, but most often he's out there bucking the trend.
I'm not going to lie, it can be absolutely exasperating. We've caught ourselves begging him to just behave, listen or play like other children his age. For shame, but we have. He's so certain in who he is, that we wish he could just conform a little bit. At 3 1/2 years old, we're trying to get him to conform! It definitely hasn't happened, but I'd be remiss if I didn't share that we've often hoped that he would.
It's in knowing these thoughts, that I want to share a picture Tony took at preschool. It immediately changed my perspective on just wishing Isaac could act a little bit more like everyone else.
Because why would I ever want my Isaac to ever lose a bit of him? The Isaac who chose not to do as everyone else, but insisted on coloring his teddy bear, you guessed it John Deere green.
He is my son. He is a product of our marriage, but he is his own person.
And I love him for it.
Thursday, September 13, 2012
So, it's Thursday and I've only blogged once this week, BIG FAT FAIL.
So here's what we've been up to:
- If you don't follow my facebook page, this may come as a surprise to you, but I'm rebranding my photography business and when I say rebranding, you could actually go so far as to say that I'm stripping it down to the studs and completely rebuilding. And the studs would be me, that's about all that remained before we started working our way back up. As any branding process usually is, it wasn't exactly a cake walk. Since every person communicates differently, myself in particular it seems, there is a learning curve in beginning such an intimate project.
I am beyond thrilled with what we have come up with. Ideally, I wanted the site to be fresh, but not trendy, clean, but not cold. And I think we nailed it, it's new, fresh, but ultimately inviting and conversational!
We're set to begin coding next week, so I've still got some more work ahead of me . . . but the end is in sight! Just in time to start filling up my 2013 wedding calendar.
- Isaac has started to include blue a bit in his wardrobe and it's just for the sweetest reason. See 98% of the time, Tony dresses Isaac in the morning and I get to see what "fun" combinations they've come up with when I get home. Recently, Isaac has been so excited to tell me "I'm wearing blue for ya, mama!" It obviously melts my heart.
- Gina called me randomly yesterday around the noon hour and asked to grab a quick lunch! We so rarely have the opportunity to spend face time together, so it was great to spend a quick 30 minutes gabbing over brown rice california rolls.
- We haven't had a lot of time to make it to the park this summer, since Isaac usually hops on his gator when we get home and doesn't mind playing on his own swing set anyways, but last week we made a trip to one of the close parks we frequented almost every night when I was on maternity leave with Ezra. We would always go in an attempt to burn off Isaac's energy and just get some fresh air outdoors.
It was surreal to go with Ezra as a toddler. I just kept having flashbacks of carrying him throughout the park as we tried to keep up with Isaac and this year, it was trying to keep up with Ezra. Tear. He was climbing on everything.
- Hockey reffing season has already returned to our household! Tony reffed his first game last Sunday and oh boy, we're really looking to knocking out more student loan debt with the monies, but it's going to be a long season.
Tuesday, September 11, 2012
Well, I made it! I'm alive!
Tony and I dropped the boys off at his parents and we made our way over to River Falls, WI. When the outfitter arrived he convinced us that we should just do the 4 hour trip, instead of the 7 hour that we bought. We still got our drink tickets and the fun of the rapids on the Kinni, but we would be forfeiting 3 hours of pure paddling on the busy and deep St. Croix. DEAL.
It was a little blustery, so we kept our jackets on for a bit and we put our phones in our dry bags, so there's an overwhelming lack of pictures. I initially told Tony that I felt handicapped because I didn't have a camera in my hand, but I soon grew used to it and just enjoyed our time.
I didn't dump! But there were definitely some tricky spots, only made more interesting by the low river and jutting rocks. At one point I felt like I was living Jet Moto. Does anyone else remember playing that game?
When we pulled up at our retrieval point Tony and I were both sore, a good sore. I could not have imagined another 3 hours though. My knees were bruised from resting on the inside of the kayak, my feet kept cramping and my thumbs were a little bruised and on the edge of blistering. We were so happy to just drive the 10 minutes to Muddy Waters to redeem our drink tickets.
And oh man, when we got there, we got a view of the St. Croix! Due to how awfully windy it was there were legitimate white caps on the water that boats were struggling to make their way through. I can't even imagine our having to kayak through those waters, as we would have left the river right there to make our way up to the restaurant. I'm certain no good could have come of our attempting that last 3 hour leg!
Such a good way to spend the day with my husband!
Friday, September 7, 2012
So . . . if you don't hear from me on Monday, please just assume that I died. Or don't. Gah!
Tony and I are going kayaking tomorrow. It all started out with a Groupon email for a "leisurely 6 hour paddle," unfortunately after purchasing I was brusquely made aware that the trip was not for beginners! Just before the woman hung up the phone on me after taking our reservation.
Now, while Tony has kayaked before, I never have.
At least once a week since setting it up in June, as Tony's birthday present, I've thought about her not for beginners message and the 50-60 class 1-2 rapids.
I've voiced my concerns to Tony and even made mention to a few of our friends to see if anyone would want to take my place with Tony for the day . . . but Tony is certain that I'll "be just fine."
If you can't tell, I'm not exactly filled with that same certainty!
I'm looking forward to spending a good amount of the day with Tony, enjoying nature, but I really hope the drinks at the end of the road, which were included in the Groupon, are worth it!
Thursday, September 6, 2012
Yes, yes, I know, a little anticlimatic, considering Isaac already had his first day of summer preschool, but nevertheless. Tuesday was the day for first day of school pictures and I of course would be remiss to miss out on a picture opportunity!
The preschool we chose for Isaac school year program was not available for summer preschool, so he was actually starting a new school. Tony did the drop off, so I'm not sure if he showed any nerves like he did the first day at the previous school, but since I was able to do the pick up, I know he definitely liked it!
A few times he told us about the "mean lady" at his old school, but overall he really enjoyed it, so I was worried he'd be upset to be starting a new school. How silly I was to worry! He took to it like a fish to water. He loves his new teacher, plus they have several aides.
Much to my chagrin though, these were his favorite parts of the day:
Playing with cars and a school bus
Eh, he's three! :) To add to it, here were some snippets from our conversation.
Me: Isaac, did you give them trouble?
Isaac: No mama, I gave them nice.
Later that evening though he did say something a little alarming. Just very suddenly he said, "God didn't make us." I knew that they read the creation story that day, so I retraced some steps and assumed that he really focused on that when God first created the world that there weren't any humans. I hope.
All in all, he had a great first day!