16 weeks | Baby Sweets

 

Updates: 1). I accidentally cleared my card to shoot a session last week, before I uploaded my 15w picture. I'm really frustrated with myself and am not sure whether I should continue taking the nice picture or not, as it's a lot of work trying to get it set up at work . . . because we don't have a nice neutral colored blank wall at home. 2). I haven't been stressing too much about coming up with a nickname for Baby #3, but at night, just before falling asleep, I find myself referring to it as Baby Sweet or Baby Sweets, so that's what we'll go with!

How far along: 16 weeks. [16 with Ezra, 16 with Isaac]

How big is baby: An avocado at roughly 4.6 inches. Tiny bones are forming in my sweet baby's ears, which means the little one might be able to hear me. Eyebrows, lashes and hair are starting to fill in, and taste buds are forming. 

Weight gain/loss: I picked up a pound this last week, so I'm doing good! A steady one pound weight gain from here on out would be perfectly fine to me.

Stretch marks: After two pregnancies, I somehow still don't have any. 

Sleep: My neck and shoulders have been bothering me with all of the shooting and computer time lately. It's been difficult to get comfortable. Still.

Diet/Cravings/Aversions: Not too much to report. I'm still noshing on the paleo diet and made a fantastic bean less chili last week, that I then also served over my eggs in the morning! Again, and I love it. Unfortunately, I did indulge in some Wendy's over the weekend and it was awful. I love Wendy's, especially pregnant, so it was a complete let down. We made spaghetti squash and served it spaghetti style with turkey meatballs and it was fabulous!

Movement: Almost daily flutters, but still nothing certain or more frequent.

What I'm worrying about: How the boys are going to do walking down the aisle for Levi and Bethany's wedding. I'm really hoping that Isaac follows Carter's lead, as he's 5 years old, and that Ezra is coerced as well! 

Annnd boo, I just found out that radiology somehow lost my appt on November 26th. Thankfully we're still able to get in that same day, but instead of 8:00am, we now have to drive a 1/2 hour to Stillwater by 7:15am . . . and figure out what to do with the boys in the meantime. Yikes.

What I'm loving: Being pregnant. Feeling blessed. And, that I can see the light at the end of busy season! YAY!

Symptoms: After virtually no change, my boobs seem to have caught on that I'm pregnant and are a little more tender . . . and perky! I'm just putting this out there, but once I'm done having kids and hopefully ever in a place where I have frivolous money to spend, I'd love for the girls to get some work done. It's so defeating to be in my 20's [at least for one more year!] and have a pancake chest.

What I'm looking forward to: Tony's cousin, who we have closely been pregnant with [no, but really, our children are within 1-3 months of each other] just found out that they're having a boy, after three girls. You guys, the anticipation of finding out the sex on November 26th, is pretty much something I think about every hour. It doesn't help that I picked out our outfits for the reveal and that makes it seem all the more close! Still a month to go, but filled with good things, like Bethany and Levi's wedding and Thanksgiving!

Best moment of the week: This past weekend was busy, but I had small moments of just loving on my boys. I absolutely treasure this picture. We were just sitting on the floor of the kitchen and it speaks so much to my heart!

I want a betta fish

 

Now, I've had plenty of betta fish throughout my years. Unfortunately two of them met the same demise during my college days . . . and froze to death. One of which, a roommate thought it'd be a great idea to turn the heat off while we went home for Christmas break. We're lucky the pipes didn't burst! The second time, the fish nearly was an ice cube, as over a long weekend, our oil ran out and again, the college soccer house was without heat!

But let's be clear, this betta fish wouldn't be solely for Isaac, although I'm sure he'd get a kick out of it.

It wouldn't be to teach responsibility.

Or to help him understand that fish breathe through water.

Oh, no. This would be to shift the numbers of our household.

I'm totally going there.

See, 4 year ago, when I was pregnant with Isaac, we joked that he was of course going to be a boy, because with 3 female cats, 1 female dog and myself in the house, the numbers needed to start increasing on the boy side. Sure enough, Isaac was a boy and then soon after, our 2nd son Ezra.

In the meantime though, we've unfortunately had to put down two of our sweet kitties . . . which now means the numbers are dead even.

Cue, the desire to purchase a male betta fish to tip the numbers male. You know, because I'm just crazy superstitious [as a Christian!] enough to think that it'd possibly mean that this little one was a girl.

I swear I won't let the fish freeze to death.

Honesty

 I'm not going to lie, October has been really difficult. My Mom has been taking at least one day off a week, with some forewarning for appointments, and similar for sick days. In addition to that, the boys themselves have had to deal with two bouts of sickness which made them unable to attend daycare, even when my Mom was available.

And that not to mention the fact that despite all my efforts, October was just entirely too busy business-wise. I know, I know, who complains about being busy? Isn't that like looking the proverbial gift horse in the mouth? The issue is though that at least from a family perspective, it's like Fall 2012 didn't happen.

Sure, we were able to go to the apple orchard a few weeks back, but.that.was.it.

There were no fun times in the leaves, no pumpkin patch visits, no delicious treats, bonfires or family walks to the park. We essentially live in Minnesota for the fall and absolutely did not get to enjoy it this year.

I'm really, really, trying to come up with a way to ensure it doesn't happen again next year.

I hear so often "I don't know how you do it." But the truth of the matter is, I don't. I just plain and simple don't. Yes, I try to enjoy the little moments, but all too often, those are the only moments I have. I'm reminded all too often by friends and family that childhood is fleeting and yet, I can't help but feel like I'm missing it.

I know that in just a matter of a week, this stress, this overwhelming feeling of being behind will all but have disappeared as I work through the last bit of photo work. I just can't help but feel, at what cost?

For so long, I did very well in creating boundaries to make sure that my life had some resemblance of balance and I believe that will be one of my foremost tasks this off season to reinstate.

Today

There is a lot to complain about today. The easy entrance point is this gloomy weather producing snow, sleet and rain, but man oh man, could I go from there.

Today, I am just filled with anger and frustration!

BUT.


And we have been called to rejoice in it!

And I will.

I will, while I'm also clinging to this promise "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."  Romans 8:28

Honestly, what is this world if not for hope and faith?

15 weeks | Baby #3

 

How far along: 15 weeks. [15 with Ezra, 15 with Isaac]

How big is baby: An orange at roughly 4 inches. My little baby is continuing to grow towards normal proportions, with baby's legs now outmeasuring the arms. And finally, all four limbs have functional joints. My baby is squirming and wiggling like crazy . . . I just can't feel most of it yet. 

Weight gain/loss: I'm holding steady at my pre-pregnancy weight. My midwife seemed a bit shocked that I hadn't gained at my appointment on Monday, so we'll see how this goes with paleo. I consulted with a blog friend, Sarah, who ate paleo and the gain did come, so I'm not too concerned yet. I'm definitely eating enough!

Stretch marks: Still none. 

Sleep: My neck and shoulders have been bothering me with all of the shooting and computer time lately. It's been difficult to get comfortable. 

Diet/Cravings/Aversions: Not too much to report. I'm still noshing on the paleo diet and made a fantastic bean less chili last week, that I then also served over my eggs in the morning! I think a planned cheat meal, including some pizza or maybe a turkey sandwich from Baker's Square could be in my future this weekend. Last night Tony was a dear and got me a bean, rice, cheese and sour cream less carnitas burrito bowl and despite all evidence to the contrary, it was amazing! Seriously, so good with carnitas, tomato salsa, lettuce, guacamole and a good dose of lime.

Movement: When listening to the heartbeat on the doppler, I've been able to feel faint kicks while hearing them . . . so it's only a matter of time!

What I'm worrying about: Unfortunately, still essentially the same worry as last week, except last week it was the boys being sick and unable to go to my Mom's causing stress at work with unplanned PTO. This week, my Mom is sick and the boys can't go to her house, which is exhausting our work situations and the kindness of friends and family. 

What I'm loving: Being pregnant. Feeling blessed. And, that I can see the light at the end of busy season! YAY!

Symptoms: I'm definitely more emotional this week. I hate being overly emotional. Hate.

What I'm looking forward to: We set the date for the anatomy scan, November 26th! It's been so long since we saw baby#3! I can't wait to get a view at our little one again and have confirmation that all is progressing well. From there, I finally came up with how we'll reveal the sex and am really excited about it!

Best moment of the week: Yesterday, I stayed home with the boys unexpectedly and was able to take Isaac to preschool. While on the way home, he nonchalantly told me he saw a tractor. Knowing it was at the compost, I asked him if he wanted to see it again, he shrugged his shoulders and told me he already did. Knowing better, I whipped a turnaround [how does one spell u-y?] and for the next 7 minutes just watched as Isaac sat enthralled to see the tractor at work. It was just a great moment to spend a small chunk of time entertaining him with something he thought was "so cool!"

The First Time I Turned 29

My birthday was Saturday. And per the title, it is the first time I turned 29 . . . we'll see what number I celebrate next year.

I wasn't sure to approach my birthday on the blog, as well, it wasn't the greatest. On paper it didn't appear it would be, as I had an engagement session scheduled, plus a 6 hour wedding, but I was still convinced my birthday could still be celebrated adequately.

I didn't account for a fight between Tony and I just as I was leaving for my wedding.

Yup.

That'll about crush any chance at a good birthday. Eight plus hours of work and a fight with your best friend? Again, not a chance.

Thankfully, both the engagement session and the wedding went swimmingly well!

When I returned home Tony apologized, there were cards, cake options, a present and a stubborn boy who refused to sing happy birthday to me. We celebrated my birthday for a bit as we indulged [even though I'd eaten clean all week, including my birthday on the job].

I listened to the baby's heart beat on the doppler before going to bed. 156 bpm. That and perspective were the best part of my day.

Here's to the rest of the year being better. :)

Silver Lining

To find the silver lining in both boys being sick the entirety of the week, you should know that Isaac threw up Wednesday night. Right after dinner, completely full belly, he unloads, first on my lap and through my leg to the couch and then all over the couch. Thank goodness I'm out of first tri or that could have been awful!

So, silver lining, did I lose any of you guys yet? It's coming I promise, but not until after Isaac was in the bath tub, Tony and I were cleaning the puke and Isaac starts screaming from the bathroom. Turns out, Ezra was bent on joining him in the tub fully clothed. And he did, with an accessory, Tony's iphone, which he'd hastily set down when the puking began.

Tony continued to clean and I sneakily grabbed his phone and put it in a bag of rice, because with everything going on I didn't want to tell him just yet that his phone might be ruined. Aye!

Can you sense the chaos?

We've lived in our house for 5 years and, as I've stressed before, it's a very small house. Convinced from the beginning that we couldn't fit a couch in our living room, we instead got a completely oversized, bulky microfiber loveseat and matching chair.

I edited in that chair for over two years, with the laptop perched on the arm.

Tony and I have almost never had a fight resulting in his sleeping on the loveseat. Almost because he did attempt it one time, but it was too awful and he came back upstairs. [potential marriage advice?]

The loveseat was two seats, but buckled so that even if sitting on one, you almost certainly ended up shifted towards the middle, so two adults could not sit comfortably.

We've had our eye on a set from JCPenny for over a year now. It was first sighted when we frequented the mall after Ezra was born, to window shop, walk and let Isaac burn off some energy. We joke that we visit it. Isaac even knows exactly which one it is. It's only $750, but we haven't made any effort to put aside the money . . . and still haven't, so I jumped on craigslist.

I joke that when I pray, in a situation like this, over materialistic things, God gives me craigslist. And we were blessed to find the same exact microfiber styled couch for $50, just recently listed 1 1/2 hours earlier. Tony quickly called from my phone . . . his still being submerged in rice, and I then text messaged the number.

Within a few minutes we had a response that someone was already coming at 9:00pm, but that they'd let me know if it didn't work out. Certain that we were supposed to have this couch, we quickly countered $100 and that we could also be there at 9:00pm.

My heart sank as the minutes passed by, but I excitedly yelled out to Tony "DONE DEAL!" in receiving their response that it was ours and we could pick it up at 9:00pm!

And that my friends, is the silver lining to Isaac throwing up on the loveseat.

As a family, we love the new couch. Clearly, there's more room and some how, it makes the living room seem bigger, when all this time, we thought it'd do the opposite. I figure, being on my 3rd pregnancy, it's high time I actually have a place to put my feet up and lounge comfortably too!

Tony and I even got to cuddle on it together last night.

All this happiness for $100 and a little puke.

14 weeks | Baby #3

 

How far along: 14 weeks. [14 with Ezra, 14 with Isaac]

How big is baby: A lemon at roughly 3 1/2 inches. My little baby is busy with thumb sucking, toe wiggling and not so cute, but equally amazing,making urine and breathing amniotic fluid as the liver, kidneys and spleen continue to develop. Lanugo is growing all over the body for warmth.  

Weight gain/loss: I've gained 1lb exactly, although when I first started changing to paleo, I had a total three pound gain, which concerned and surprised me, but it seems my body has adjusted. I feel great!

Stretch marks: Nope.

Sleep: Sleep pregnancy related is just fine . . . sleep with a 3 1/2 year old who thinks 3:30am is morning, not so much.

Diet/Cravings/Aversions: I'm in 2nd tri! YAY! My love for vegetables and salad has returned and I'm loving it. As I mentioned earlier in the week, we're tiptoeing into the paleo diet. Tony has been frustrated with how his body has responded to working out, it's a very healthy diet and I figured since I actually got Tony's cooperation, why not start now? We've been loving it and honestly, I feel so much better about what I was eating. I felt like I was eating "healthy" before, but more or less, doctoring not so bad meals. I've felt a definite change this week for certain. Tony is only beginning day three or so . . . although I don't believe he's abstained from milk, but I can't wait until he feels the same as I do!

Right now, I want a big steak.

Movement: Nada.

What I'm worrying about:The boys have been sick all week. I took them in on Monday and strep came back negative, no ear infections and it's essentially a waiting game. It's just been entirely frustrating how much of an inconvenience it is for both Tony and I to arrange our schedules and for me to whittle my PTO time away. All I keep thinking is "When I quit, I won't have to deal with this." I won't have to think about sickness as an inconvenience and stress about whether I'm getting in trouble at work. Instead, I'll only have to focus on the wellness of my children. I hate that I don't get to just nurture and mother them, but instead it's some big headache. I'm their mother, I'm supposed to be with them! 

What I'm loving: Being pregnant. Feeling blessed. 

Symptoms: I'm pretty much symptom free right now. It's crazy. Thank goodness for the borrowed doppler to keep tabs on the little one's heartbeat, otherwise I'd be a little more of a wreck. 

What I'm looking forward to: We set the date for the anatomy scan, November 26th! It's been so long since we saw baby#3! I can't wait to get a view at our little one again and have confirmation that all is progressing well. From there, I finally came up with how we'll reveal the sex and am really excited about it!

Best moment of the week: Isaac including "the new baby" in his nighttime prayers. For awhile he's forgotten after thanking God for Ezra, but now it's second nature. 

Sorta Paleo

On the way down to the farm, who knows what I was browsing, but maybe it was Ashely's yummy meal, the subject of attempting paleo came up. Since finding out about CrossFit and the corresponding paleo diet, I've always been intrigued. Sure, I love to run and I generally eat healthy, but I also love to work hard. Lifting weights was one of my favorite aspects of spring training during my college days. Nothing makes me feel more confident than knowing I am strong.

Unfortunately, it's just not in our cards right now to pony up $150 or $200+  for the two of us to join a CrossFit gym, so again, I thought maybe we can try the diet together. And wouldn't you know it, after two previous failed attempts, Tony assented to it and helping me, with a reward for participation.

I'm now going into my third day of at least sort of paleo. I have not had any dairy, but have strayed a bit with carbs . . . like corn.

We'll have to see how this plays out!

Heaven

Tony and I weren't sure how to approach the subject of Isaac's Great Grandpa's death. We've had to put down our tabby kitty Callie in his short life and of course, the concepts are brought up in various movies and shows . . . but that just doesn't compare to telling a child that a person he is connected to is no longer with us.

We just very straight forward told Isaac that his Great Grandpa had died. I'm not sure what memories he had of John, so he was a little confused in who exactly he was. I didn't want him thinking that Tony's paternal Grandpa had died or that my maternal Grandpa had passed, so I tried explaining that it was Grandma Dawn's Dad. He then questioned "So . . . not Grandpa Don, Grandpa Tom or Grandpa Dusty?" He seemed relieved to know it was none of the three and quickly moved on.

The day before the funeral, I knew I had to prep Isaac for wearing something other than comfy clothes. I asked him first if he remembered what respect meant. Nodding his head, I told him that it was out of respect for his Great Grandpa that we would be wearing nice clothes. Remarkably, when dressing him, he didn't argue one peep when I asked him if he remembered why we were wearing nice clothes. It was one of those moments as a mother where you see the silver lining and I was filled with appreciation that my small boy seemed to have a grasp on the importance of the situation. He doesn't have khakis that fit, so we settled on jeans and a nice sweater. He now insists that jeans are only for pictures . . . and funerals.

While at the service, Isaac kept asking where Great Grandpa was and really wanted to say good bye. Tony and I just repeated over and over that while his body is here, that he is in heaven. And then, when we went to lay his body to rest, when I told Isaac we were going to put it in the ground he got very upset and said "But he's going to get dirty!"

Over all, I think for a 3 1/1 year old, he handled it very well and I really hope that Tony and I gave him the right information.

Last night before bed, he very matter of fact looked me in the eyes and told me "Great Grandpa is dead." I agreed with him and asked him if he knew where he was, without skipping a beat, Isaac responded "In heaven."

Not sure how much to further our conversation, as Isaac seems to get upset if I ask him questions that he hasn't asked the answer for, I wasn't prepared for his next question. "Mama, we have that thing from church up there." He pointed to the cross we have hanging in our living room and it seemed such a natural segue. I asked him if he knew what it was and he shook his head no [ahh little attention span for all the times he's been told]. I told him it was a cross and then explained God's great love for us in sending his son to die for our sins, like when we lie. I then shared with Isaac that that's how Great Grandpa ended up in heaven, by asking Jesus into his heart to forgive his sins. I told Isaac that both of his parents had done the same and then asked him if he'd like to go to heaven. Without a second hesitation his eyes shot to mine and he said "No!" Unsure how he would react to hell, I reminded him that while Jesus died for our sins, all of the people who didn't ask for forgiveness would be in hell. His eyes widened as he told me "Mama, hell is where all the bad people are." I then asked him again if he would like to go to heaven when he died and he assuredly nodded his head yes. I asked him if he would like to ask Jesus in his heart and he replied "Yeah . . . sometime."

I figure that's as close as a yes as I've gotten and decided to not press the matter further.

Tony's Grandpa was known as a great man of faith and shared his testimony often, from what I gathered at his funeral service. Who would know, that he would still be bringing others closer to God, even after his passing?
 

MishMash

- Thank you so much for the many encouraging words in response to my post yesterday! I received so many heartfelt comments and I really appreciate the few emails as well. They were just what my heart needed.

- Tony's Grandpa John passed away this week. Unfortunately I did not have the privilege of knowing John prior to his debilitating stroke 20 years ago, but for all intents and purposes he was a wonderful man. He and his wife Stella had 13 children, which resulted in over 120 grand children and great grandchildren. They raised their family to be hard workers and cultivated a family rich in faith. John and Stella were married for over 70 years, with Stella being his caretaker, with additional help in recent years, ever since his stroke. If there was ever a legacy to see and understand without it needing being put into words it's spending just a bit of time in a room filled with this family.

And just because this picture is so poignant, taken at the hospital of Stella continuing their routine of sharing devotions with John.


Tony has been asked by his Grandma to read his Grandpa's obituary and I've been praying for strength for Tony since we found out Monday night.

- My mini sessions were scheduled for this Saturday and unfortunately, Tony and I knew it would be best if I not attend the funeral. The headache of rescheduling 10 client sessions would prove too great! God however had other plans and it seems the only amount of rain of the season is forecasted for tomorrow . . . the whole live long day. So, I will now be attending the funeral with Tony and his family. Sometimes, things just work out differently than expected.

- So, Sunday, half of my mini sessions will be shot around two previously scheduled sessions and the remainder will be made up on the 21st. Unfortunately, as I'm shooting a wedding on the 20th . . . which is my birthday, I will not have any more birthday celebration than Friday evening of the 19th. Wah wah. Welcome to adulthood.

- My brother took both of these pictures, while we were over at his house to celebrate his birthday. Bethany picked up the suits we purchased for their wedding and I thought it'd be fun to try them on the boys. Clearly, Isaac was not impressed. Ezra on the other hand, after we got it on him, was perfectly find and looked like quite the gentleman. Isaac is quite smitten with Bethany, so I basically forced her to bribe him and tell him just how handsome he looked, otherwise I can just imagine how well the wedding day is going to go! So the bribe is set, after Levi and Bethany are married, Isaac will get to spend the night at their house. I think he'd pretty much do anything to make that happen.

- To hopefully ease the angst, we also came up with purchasing John Deere suspenders! Hopefully Isaac will be so happy to wear John Deere that he isn't upset about the suit. I'm thinking I'll also pick him up some John Deere socks and maybe even a little John Deere for his pocket before walking down the aisle?

- He has been so difficult with clothes again lately. Every morning he asks, "Can I wear the same clothes as yesterday?" He fully acknowledges they're dirty and just worn, but he doesn't care. The other day when I went to pick him up, I noticed that he was wearing his fleece jacket over his green and grey striped shirt [note, it was a green shirt!]. I asked him if he was cold and he responded that he was, but when we got in the car he said "Mama, I wore my jacket because I didn't want my friends to see my shirt because it's not John Deere." AHHHHHH! How is this starting already?

Apprehension

Lately, I've been thinking quite a bit about our plan to transition me home. As I've quipped all too often this year, I can no longer say that I will then begin doing photography full time, as I feel like I already am, but to focus solely on photography and my family.

We have two plans, one more accelerated and the other more reasonable, which would get me home either summer 2013 or by the end of the year 2013. This would include photo money and Tony's reffing contributions from his upcoming 2012-2013.

To be honest, even when we are student loan debt free, leaving only our mortgage . . . I've been filled with this overwhelming burden that we won't be able to actually make this happen. We already live pretty frugally, so there isn't much left to cut and looking at everything on paper, I just don't see how we'll be able to afford my quitting plus figuring out how to afford health insurance. We know our expected bills. We know Tony's income. Mine however, big old question mark.

Some may think that my prices are exorbitant, but the reality is that I'm running a business. A business with expenses and taxes! And it's not just simple cut and dried money in the bank. Wouldn't that be nice?

Now Tony, he has not encountered any of this burden . . . even when I try to lay it on him! He thinks that we have time to plan and that we'll adjust as needed. This of course is driving me batty, because how can we plan if we don't put something into motion now?

It's been a daily thought of mine, as my heart hurts so much to occupy this chair at work. Some days I literally feel like the only thing I've accomplished is to be away from my babies [who aren't quite babies] for 10 hours and be compensated for it.

I'm hoping you can pray for me through this time of uncertainty, two things:

1). That we will live a life of reliance on God.
That we will be rid of the self assurance and reliance and to be shaped so that we no longer lean on our own understanding.

2). That I can say this without choking on the words "I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content." Philipians 4:11
I want to be anxious for nothing, but give thanks in all things so that I can know the peace that passes all understanding.

Tony and I have been working so diligently towards this goal, so that I can be in the home and operate my business with my full attention . . . I only hope that it's also God's will for our family.

13 weeks | Baby #3

How far along: 13 weeks. [13 with Isaac] Baby is forming teeth and vocal cords. Baby is approaching normal proportions, with a head now only one third the size of the body. Intestines are in the process of moving fro the umbilical cord to baby's tummy. 

How big is baby: A peach at 2.9".

Weight gain/loss: Feeling pretty good so far to be under the 3-5 lbs for first tri. Just over one pound total. 

Stretch marks: Nope.

Sleep: Due to an awful cold that robbed me of my voice, I've been sleeping pretty terribly the last few days. 

Diet/Cravings/Aversions: I made an unmarked and undisclosed box of brownies, that I'm not entirely sure where it came from, last night and included a scoop of peanut butter. Tony ran to the store for me and came back with Edy's 1/2 the fat slow churned Carmel delight. With still warm, slightly gooey brownies, I was in heaven! Probably shouldn't have given it to Isaac 10 minutes before his bed time though . . . 

Movement: The same, I've felt some flutters that have made me pause, but definitely nothing that is obviously movement.

The belly: Is making it's way further out.

What I'm worrying about: Currently nothing pregnancy related, just that I have my mini sessions on Saturday, which is the same day as Tony's grandpa's funeral. Unfortunately we don't have anyone to watch the boys . . . but it also looks like it's going to rain all day, so I'm still just waiting to determine if I'm going to be rescheduling or not. 

What I'm loving: Being pregnant. Feeling blessed. 

Symptoms: I seem to have been able to put the nausea behind me! I'm so flipping exhausted though . . . so close to 2nd tri! Aren't I supposed to be getting a second wind here?

What I'm looking forward to: The official end of first tri, at 13w3d. I'm really looking forward to finding out this little one's sex! Everyone keeps asking what sort of reveal we'll do this time and I haven't the faintest idea . . . but, of course, it can't be anything similar to something already done! :)

Best moment of the week: I'm still really thankful for the borrowed doppler, as it's so reassuring to find the little one's heart, just beating away right before bed time.  

MishMash

- I can't get enough of turkey sandwiches, you know, one of those things sworn off to me as a  pregnant lady. I don't deny myself of their goodness, but honestly, I could eat them lunch and dinner, daily.

- I made some fantastic pumpkin banana bread muffins last week when the air took just a little chill. I followed this recipe, although very loosely, as:
a). I forgot greek yogurt and subbed strawberry banana yogurt
b). I only had 5 bananas
c). I only had 2 tsps of vanilla
d). I don't have a bread tin, so I improvised with muffins
e). I didn't time them, because well, the recipe didn't offer timing for muffins, just bread.

Somehow, even with all of the above going on, I must say they were truly yummy.

- Apparently I'm shallow enough to have a preferred side to photograph. I really hate the 12 week picture, because my part is on the other side. I feel like my face looks really weird . . . I've never had a reaction like that!

- My part is on the other side, because I haven't had my hair done since June 7th! The roots are out of control my friends! I can't believe it's been 4 months. Honestly, the beginning of summer feels like it was an entirely different year, so I can't believe it. You can kind of see it here, but it's so much worse with my hair pulled back, not to mention this was taken already a week ago.


- Last week when Ezra was home sick, while I worked from home, he had the run of the place without his big brother. It didn't take very long until he was bored and you could really tell he missed his "Ayyye!" So what did he do? He found his big brother's John Deere t-shirt and was absolutely adamant that I put it on him, even though it was 4 times too big. He was clearly pleased!


- Let's talk about how big of a disaster on paper that this photo shoot was going to be.

First of all, Tuesday night I ran to both JoAnns and Michael's to find a craft #5, which I was certain I'd seen previously. Too bad I totally made it up, as they both only carry letters, and I improvised by hand cutting the #5 out of cork. Wednesday morning both Isaac and Ezra woke up sick. Isaac was the crabbiest he's been in months and was screaming when I came to pick him up from my Mom's, because he thought he was spending the night there . . . but instead was spending the night two days later. You can imagine how well it went trying to reason that it was Wednesday and not Friday. He was less than happy to see me and you can bet it only went downhill when he learned we were going to take pictures. Ezra's nose was like a faucet and would.not.stop.running.

Then we were in rush hour for over an hour and 30 minutes late to Gina's. We were supposed to get there at 5:30 and showed up, still needing to get everyone dressed at 6:00pm. Yes, my fellow photogs, 6:00pm. Gina was squeezing us in before her Bible Study at her house, so not only did we only have about 20 minutes of daylight, people were going to start arriving as well! So, as we start dressing, I realize that I completely forgot jeans for Isaac, thus the green gym shorts. They were not intentional. On top of that, since it's been so cool in the mornings, I didn't think to tell Tony to wear jeans, but he ended up wearing shorts. Not a huge deal, but since I was wearing a skirt, it'd look a little odd, so he ended up borrowing a pair of jeans from Gina's husband Matt, which were a little too tight. That wasn't the only thing too tight however, as Tony slipped on the shirt I grabbed him at Target, we too late found out that it was a size S on a size L hanger! And to top it all off, Tony hadn't shaved in over a week. Just as we started shooting, Ezra grabbed a hold of my homemade #5 and ripped the bottom part right off.

Are you following me? Recipe for an outstanding disaster . . . and yet, in only the magic of Gina and God's grace, the boys were in amazing moods and I could not have imagined better pictures! And that picture where I'm holding out the #5, I'm really holding the top and bottom together in my hand.  What a story!

12 weeks | Baby #3

 

How far along: 12 weeks. [12 with Isaac]

How big is baby: A plum at roughly 2 1/2 inches.

Weight gain/loss: I actually began this pregnancy at exactly my pre-pregnancy weight with Ezra, which was also post loss weight. Currently, despite all evidence to the contrary I've gained .02 lb.

Stretch marks: Nope.

Sleep: Thankfully I've shaken out my early pregnancy insomnia. I've been dealing with allergies the last month and now a cold, but I'm still sleeping pretty soundly. 

Diet/Cravings/Aversions: I don't really believe in cravings in all honesty. I've never had the desire for off the wall food items, and usually what I love is the same as not pregnant, just when I'm pregnant I want more of it. 

That said, a big aversion is hummus. Did you hear me cry as I said that? I can practically live off of hummus and now, no matter what I try or what I pair it with, I can't stomach it. I've also completely come off of caffeine, not that I would love a good cup or two of the strong stuff, but just the smell turns my stomach! The only drink I've been able to finish was a Salted Carmel Mocha from Starbucks two weeks ago and that was delicious!

Exercise: None existent. :( I'd really like to get on the treadmill to walk this winter, once hockey starts for Tony and I slow down with photography. My plan is to get the boys down for bed and then get a little time on the treadmill, fingers crossed that neither need me!

Gender: No surprise here, we'll be finding out for the third time. Hopefully the end of November. As I shared before, for full disclosure, we're hoping for a girl. I will not be hurt, mad or upset if we do in fact have a third boy, as that was our original hope. It has been a recent change of heart in longing for a daughter.

Movement: To be honest, I've felt some flutters that have made me pause, but definitely nothing that is obviously movement.

The belly: My ute is out of control. It's supposed to be the size of a grapefruit. I say it's the size of a size 3 soccer ball. I keep joking that my uterus was like "Pregnant?! I know what to do! Bam! There you go."

What I'm worrying about: I'm just the teeniest littlest bit saddened that I will be 17 weeks pregnant at my brothers wedding. We'll see what happens between now and then, but I'm not going to be showing enough to look much more than chubby. I started a month long arms, back and shoulder's circuit at the start of the month and I hope that even with a little effort I can get my upper body toned up to look presentable for the wedding. 

What I'm loving: Being pregnant. Feeling blessed. 

Symptoms: I've had all day nausea since about week 6, but it's begun to lessen. My taste buds are all over the place. Unfortunately I never know if I'm actually going to enjoy my food choice, as it seems that my tastebuds have defaulted to sensing sweetness. Which means certain things that should not be sweet . . . are. :( 

Another new symptom is that my migraines have returned. I was a monthly migraine sufferer prior to getting pregnant with Isaac. For lack of a better explanation, pregnancy seemed to cure my migraines, as I've had fewer than 3 in the last 4 years with the pregnancies with the two boys. I've now had two with this pregnancy and while that's definitely not an overwhelming number, it is a very certain change.

Otherwise, almost everything is same old same old. Tired [check] Nauseous [check] Indecisive [check] Irritable [check] 

What I'm looking forward to: Aaron and Missy's wedding on Friday! I can't wait to see our good friends married and spend time with high school friends.

Best moment of the week: That I have found the baby's heartbeat on my borrowed doppler within seconds of trying. Andplusalso finally sharing with friends and coming out with it!

Baby #3 :: April 17, 2013

Well my friends, I've been known to joke . . . but it's becoming a certified reality, I have my babies on even months and odd years. So here comes Baby #3, 4.17.2013 [I'll be 12w on 10/3]. Can I call it now? Based on my 39w deliveries, I'm already going to put my guess in on April 10th, 2013.

From early on in our marriage, Tony and I were always pretty clear in our desired number in our family. He said 3-5, I said 2-3, so naturally 3 was a great compromise. This announcement seems to have shocked some and been as obvious as writing on the wall for others, but we've been pretty open book that we weren't quite done yet. It doesn't seem to be the standard with my blogging friends to keep their pregnancies on the down low, but for my love of being open . . . it's just not how I do my pregnancies.

I have to be honest, with a miscarriage between two healthy pregnancies, I've had a really hard time believing that a healthy pregnancy doesn't have to be proceeded by a loss. It took me awhile to really adjust to the fact that I'm staying pregnant, at least it appears that way for now. However, what really helped me this time was that I didn't have a sinking feeling. With Josiah, Tony went warp speed to excited and I couldn't quite get there with him, there was just something that kept me held back. While I have been anxious this time, there has not be any reservation. I doubt that makes much sense to anyone!

I tested for several days with internet cheapies, but not even a hint of a line showed. I finally used a Clear Blue blue dye line test and saw the faintest evap line, but as soon as I googled "false positive" I felt certain that I was holding a similar result in my hand, even though I know that a "line is a line is a line." That same day, I ran down to Target and bought a pack of digitals, because after all of the negative internet cheapies and a suspected false positive, I didn't want to mess around anymore.

And against my better judgement, I tested at work and made my way to the Wellness Room, with the test covered. After a good two minutes, I took the piece of paper off that I'd used to cover the message  . . . only to find it still processing. For the next three seconds I was certain it was going to say "Not Pregnant" as it would have surely shown pregnant by then if I was, only to suddenly and jarringly have it pop up "Pregnant." Given that it's a 50/50 answer, you'd really think I wouldn't have been so shocked. I immediately started sobbing, got on my knees and started thanking God. We are so blessed.

As expected, my brain was a muddled mess the rest of the afternoon and once I picked up the boys, I had about 15 minutes to come up with something to share the news with Tony. I know, I know, I could just have use spoken words, but I've done something every time, so I quick drew a stick family of 4, with the mama's belly appropriately pregnant. I planned to have Isaac give it to Tony as something he drew at my Mom's.


Isaac's such a little stinker and even though I never used the word secret as soon as Tony got home, he kept saying "I have a secret Daddy." I of course had my camera around my neck and Tony didn't even think twice. Isaac asked to show him his coloring. Tony crouched down next to him and asked Isaac to tell him who everybody was.


As soon as we were all named, he looked up at me and that's when I said "And one more." Too bad he had his sunglasses on and you can't see his eyes teared up! He responded with "Are you serious?" which he has asked every time I've told him I'm pregnant. You'd think I have a habit of jokingly telling him that I'm knocked up!


Such a hilarious picture! But really letting it sink in. We didn't tell Isaac at the time what the hubbub was all about . . .


We quietly kept the news to ourselves, as we anxiously awaited our dating ultrasound. I was extremely nervous going into the ultrasound on Sept 10th, but my symptoms had been keeping up and I didn't feel badly about the pregnancy. We were amazed to see this beautiful little peanut taking up the screen at 8w5d.


Since then, I've heard the heartbeat at my midwive's office [175] and several times at home on a borrowed doppler. Nothing is sweeter than hearing that quick beat. It seems absolutely crazy now that it's out there . . . we really are going for three children! A family of 5.


We waited to tell family, including Isaac, until about 2 weeks ago. We asked Isaac if he wanted to share a secret with Grandma first and he excitedly said "Yes! I'm going to tell Grandma that Mustangs go fast!" Not quite what we were going for . . . we finally convinced him to share two secrets, first that there is a baby in mama's belly and that Mustangs go fast. Guess which one he was most excited to share?


He's absolutely convinced that it's a baby sister and is quite adamant that it's a little girl . . . but he said the same about Ezra, so he doesn't have a great track record. On that note, to answer the most frequently asked question, yes, we do hope for a daughter. Most people close to me know that this is only a recent change of heart, as most of my life I was very certain that I did not want a daughter and that three boys would be perfectly fine! Granted, if God blesses us with a third little boy, we will not be disappointed, because that is His plan for our family.


Thank you so much for the incredible congratulations! We're so happy to be allowed to go this wonderful journey again!

Five

 

Details to come. :)