Heartless

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Let's talk about this blog. I know, I know, it's usually taboo and yanks everyone back to a more safe distance from each other. I think it's very fair to say to everyone that this blog has been very surface level lately, almost akin to this conversation:

Friend 1: "Hey, how are you?"
Friend 2: "Good, you?"
Friend 1: "Fine, fine. How about that weather?"
Friend 2: "Crazy, huh?"

That's not what pulls you in, it's not how great conversations begin or friendships are built up. And usually, an in person conversation with me is never that surface level, love it or hate it. I'm always authentic to me. It goes something a little more along the lines of:

Me: "Hey, what's up?"
Friend: "Not much, you?"
Me: "Well this morning, Isaac started the day off fighting over clothes, but then Tony got him giggling by calling Ezra a stinky butt and before you know it all three boys were giggling uncontrollably!"

I'm not a small talk girl. It's a waste of time. It's heartless. It's a void of time without meaning.

And I apologize that this blog has been doing pretty much the same thing, but . . . sadly, it's also a great representation of how our lives have actually been going lately. The blog is running on fumes and so are we.

No, Tony and I aren't in a desperate place in our marriage. Technically, even on a bad day, I don't think you'd get either of us to even say we're hurting, but we're also not strong. There's just been too much work and not enough upkeep, in our relationship, in our house, but thankfully we've been good about the kids. :)

This isn't a post to tell you that I'm closing down shop or that I'm taking a hiatus, because overall, I've always thoroughly enjoyed blogging. It's something I love to do. To share photos, my faith and express my thoughts, hopefully well, in type, so I won't be leaving it.

Hopefully, when this season winds down.

Hopefully, when we find joy in all of the little moments.

Hopefully, when I pick up the camera for personal pictures again, I'll be able to resume the conversation like normal.

14 comments:

Megan said...

And whenever that is, we'll be here. :)

I totally understand the pressure to post, but we've all been there and can completely relate. And personally, the posts that are just because I feel pressured to say something are a waste of time, just like small talk.

Hang in there friend!

Bekah said...

hey, we all go through these seasons. We all understand.

I am in a similar situation with my blog, because if I wrote how I really felt that place would be a drag! Haha, im so unhappy with our move, but there is nothing that can be done about it, so what can I really say, you know? So its been REALLY shallow lately. Like..oh look at this new light. If we all look at the new light no can ask me how Im doing.

Blah.

So anyway...I get it.

Kim said...

I can totally relate. We are just on autopilot mode, trying to get through the next few weeks and then things will slow down.

Chin up!

W said...

I think you've been pretty transparent and honest in your posts. Not at all small-talky. :)
But I feel what you're saying, it's something we all go through.

Sarah Denley said...

I totally understand. I think we all go through spells like that on our blogs. I kind of hate it when I do, because like you, I'm not big on the small talk. It just doesn't feel like me. But sometimes, it's just all you can do to put something out there at all. Like Megan said, we'll all be here whenever you are able to share more. But in the meantime, give yourself grace. We will!

Jessica said...

Completely understand and am sending prayers your way for balance and peace. In the meantime, I'll be following along on Instagram :)

Kallie Brelsford said...

Love this post. Mainly because I'm not a real small talk person either. I've actually been told that I jump into "heavy stuff" too fast when I meet new people.

I don't think thats a bad thing? Relationships need the nitty gritty true stuff or else they are just boring.

And that's why I like your blog. You aren't boring. :)

Have a great rest of your week!

Katie said...

Definitely get all this. Currently trying to recover from four years of operating like this. Big hugs to you!

Tess Weber-Popejoy said...

Ohhh Leah, I've been trying to come up with the same kind of post because at this point I am so "over" my blog. I feel like I just need a break and you deserve one too!

BUT... I really hope you're comin' back because I love reading about you and your adorable boys :)

Molly said...

I have really been struggling with my blog lately. Not knowing what to write and how to say it. I can't string words together. I did better this week but it always hurts my feelings when I write a really deep-felt from-the-heart post and then I don't get many comments at all. Still can't manage to get over the whole number of comments thing.

When people don't comment I am less motivated to write. I just try to remember that everything in life ebbs and flows and there will be seasons where I write more and write less.

Julia said...

eh, at least you are posting SOMETHING even if it's not earth-shattering or deep each time. Better than I'm doing up in here! But I get it.

I'm sure I'm not the only one who was hoping you were announcing a break because of a pregnancy! Not that people actually 'announce' when they are breaking from the blog because of a big secret, but still. :)

Joi said...

Love you and the blog, Leah!

dm said...

I would be sad if you stopped. (I think the only other time I've ever commented is the time you were thinking about quitting, in fact)

The beauty of blogging is that it's YOURS and you can do whatever you want with it, whenever you want.

Julie S. said...

I totally get it. Totally. I will never, ever leave your blog :)

 

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