Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Do you ever have those days were you just feel unsettled?

Completely uneasy.

Where you're not quite worrying, but you're certainly expecting the worse?

That's me.

I just can't seem to dog it the last two days.

My prayers have pretty much only consisted of praying for safety over those who are near and dear to me.

And neighbors.

And cities.

And continents. You know, just to be comprehensive.

There's been so much loss lately and it's effected how I look at my boys. Every time I leave them, I have an unshakeable feeling that it may be the last time.

I hate that. Sure, it makes me appreciative and soak up the warmth of their skin, the crinkles of their smiles, but it also makes me feel neurotic.

I don't like it.

Please tell me I'm not alone. 



Brianne said...

One of my favorite courage boosting scriptures is Jeremiah 1:8 "Be not afraid of their faces: for I am with thee to delver thee, thus saith the Lord."
Or something close to that... :)

Raquel said...

I think it's part of being a Mom ;)

Megalamode said...

Definitely not alone.. I have severe anxiety and I am all too familiar with that cloud of doom.

Molly said...

You're not alone. I struggle with severe anxiety and sometimes even have to take medication to calm my fears. They become so real that they swallow me up and I cannot function. I'm going through something like this now.

Sarah said...

Hugs! Thinking of you!

Erin said...

I have thoughts like this about my boys all the time and I hate it so much. You are definitely not alone.

Megan said...

One of my favorites when I'm feeling that way:
"Don't fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life."
- Phil 4:6 MSG

I can totally relate and have those unsettled feelings from time to time. You are not alone, and are being covered in prayer today!

Anonymous said...

Leah! You are completely not alone... In fact, I'm so glad you actually voiced it. Because I feel the same way! Not towards children because I don't have kids yet but towards my fiancé. I worry about the stupidest things, about everything and the what ifs... I worry about when he goes off to work and gives me a kiss as he leaves- what if that's the last kiss he gives me? I know, insane! Anyway just wanted to let you know you're definitely not alone... We may be neurotic but that's only because we love hard and we should be proud about that :)

Have a great day!! Janice xoxo

Amy said...

Not alone! I think while part of it part of being a mom, I think part of it is just not being so naive anymore, which I know I was obviously oblivious to how scary the world can be (which being a parent does to you!) I have struggled wtih this more since Brady was 4 months old and our friend passed away, only to have to go through grief many times over the next year or so. I think as a mom, you realize how much more precious and amazing life with those little blessings in it!

Adrienne said...

Leah, you are not alone! I completely understand your anxiety.

I know several commenters said it's part of being a mom, but I have that with my husband and parents sometimes too ;) .

I do believe God gives women intuition for a purpose, time, and reason, but also He tells us not to fear, but to trust (I know, easier said than done)! I love:

For I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you. (Isaiah 41:13)

Praying for the kind of peace only God can bring and some direction too!

Unknown said...

Yup. Here too. I'll have nights where I can't fall asleep because I'm certain something will happen to my babies. And then I check on them no less than 82 times before I finally surrender to my sleepiness.

Faith said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Faith said...

I swear something is wrong with May. The past two days have been crap & I'm already ready for this month to be over. Hope things get more settled on your end!

Blue-Eyed Bride said...

This is where I was last week. It was so tough and I was so anxious and couldn't figure out why. Praying it passes quickly for you.

DianeTaylor said...

Hi Leah - I hope I have not added to your anxiety with comments about my son. My hope is that we will all live our lives as if each day were our last. We really don't know what the future holds - I was pretty certain what my future held....but boy was I wrong. I went to my first monthly meeting of the Compassionate Friends (all attendees have lost a child). So much sorrow in one room - but so much hope for our future. I am utterly spent this morning but I will keep on going.

Last week on my son's 25th birthday, I received a music box that plays the song "On Eagle's Wings" - that is what I imagine heaven must be like.

xxoo to you, dear friend


Jen | Our Life Accounts said...

I can get the same way sometimes, between my large family and husband there are a lot of people to worry about! The worry can consume me if I let it and then this pregnancy has had added a whole new dimension. Sometimes I literally just have to repeat to myself for hours "trust" & "God has a plan". Praying it clears up for you soon!

Julie S. said...

GIrl, you know I feel it. It's SO hard to cast aside those feelings sometimes, even though we know that He will deliver. :)


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