Friday, February 3, 2012

Life is all about choices.

Sometimes there are several great options.

Other times, it's only the lesser of two evils.

But there is always a choice.

Even when you don't have much of a choice, you have the choice to accept your position gracefully or suffer with a bad attitude.

Loving someone is a choice.

Being in love is also a choice.

See, when Tony and I first started dating, we were pretty head over heels in love.
008 (2)
[Look at us, crazy little kids going off and getting married. What were our parents thinking?]

Tony often told me how in love with me he was. Ever the realist, I would often put a damper on the moment by replying so romantically, "but you won't be."

Seriously, who sticks it out with a girl that cynical? Tony has always been the lover of our relationship and then there's me, the girl who grew up with the wreckage of divorce all about me, and never seemed to escape it's effects.

So often, I would ruin moments, special feelings, by continually reminding the both of us that it wouldn't always be that way. And Tony, I'm sorry for it. I really am, because those were moments that were to be treasured. We'll never be that careless and untroubled and I ruined a fair amount of tender conversations.

What I was trying to get across though, is that it didn't matter to me how in love we were, so long as in that encompassing love we had, that when one of us eventually fell out of love, that we continually chose to fall back in love with each other. And only each other.

Does anyone remember the Grey's Anatomy scene [back when it was really good]? I feel like Meredith Grey here saying "Pick me. Choose me. Love me."

But really, that's the simple truth in our 5 years of successful marriage, because we haven't always been in love day in and day out.

We choose to love each other, as unconditionally as possible, grow with each other and in those times that we fall out of love, we choose to only fall in love with our spouse. Either for reasons of the past or the promise of the future.



Lucky Girl said...

I really appreciate this post!

One of my good friends is in a wonderful relationship and one where her boyfriend would really like to see marriage in their close future, but as a child of divorce, she is also very leery of taking that step as in her mind, they won't be in love forever. I am going to share your way of explaining the choice to always fall back in love with each other.

Emily said...

Totally agree and think this is a beautiful post!

kari said...

I love this post. I am also a child of divorce. My dad cheated on my mom constantly. It's a constant struggle with fear and doubt for me . I too, have ruined tender moments because of this. You are right about it being a choice. When I look at the divorce going on around us, I'm happy I choose a partner that chooses to fall in love with me and I with him again and again.

Sam said...

This right here just confirmed a huge lesson I've just learned about myself and about relationships. Thank you so much Leah. It couldn't have come at a better time.

Blue-Eyed Bride said...

i love this and love your heart!

Linnea said...

So beautiful. Loving your husband is a daily choice - and a wonderful thing!

Justine said...

Love this post. This is something I've wanted to write about for awhile now, but can't seem to find the words. Beautiful. One of my favorite quotes is "love is a choice, not a feeling". :)

Ashlet said...

Beautifully written. I take so much of what you write to heart.

I love the new layout.

Megan said...

I love your heart and honesty!

Tess Weber-Popejoy said...

I needed to be reminded of this!

Meredith said...

I love this. I think it's really true. It reminds me of something I saw recently on Pinterest that said "No one falls in love by choice, it's by chance. No one stays in love by chance, it's by work. And no one falls out of love by chance, it's by choice."

Also love your new blog look :)

Sharstin said...

what a fantastic post--could not agree more! love that last pict of you two~

Chelsea said...

I love this post Leah! So, very true. Especially for couples who have been together for years and years. I admire your honesty and I think that a lot of others will relate!

LC said...

Definitely connecting to this post right now. Thanks lady!


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