Waxing Philosophical

Monday, December 12, 2011

Somedays, I just can't handle the "living" to get to the living.

Tony and I have carved out a very conventional life and we find so much enjoyment in it.

BUT.

Somedays, it feels so constricting and unyielding.

I have that urge to be a vagabond family, free from expectations and limitations.

There's just so much love to soak up and smiles to share, but not enough time once our commitments are fulfilled.

That's not a life to live.

Why are these moments so scarce in between all of the time required to get here, on the floor, enjoying every freaking small second.
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All this, because of a text message from my Mom that my son is inconsolable, and I'd give anything to be there, but I can't.

7 comments:

Nessa said...

Oh I am so sorry Leah. Hang in there.

Sarah (Mrs. Ruffled Flats) said...

Oh, Leah! Although we don't have kids yet, I think about this all the time. When my dream is to have a family that I can love whenever I want to, it just doesn't seem plausible since I'm sure I will have to work full-time. As much as I am happy to be a woman and to have the right to vote, work, speak for myself, etc., I really wish I could be a stay-at-home mom and care for our future family, but I don't think that's how it's going to work out for us. I completely understand the want to be a vagabond family. You are in my prayers! I hope God helps you get more time with your family!

Molly said...

I feel this. Every damn day of my life, I feel this. It hurts so much. Work to live, work to live. And we can't get it back.

As you can see, I'm no help for your feelings. I'm right there with you.

I'm hoping Dave Ramsey helps us live to LIVE, if you know what I mean.

Julia said...

boo, hiss, to this rough 'working mama' post. Big hugs, lady!

The Branches said...

It's hard...every day it's hard! I feel you! I want to be the one that is there every day & I try not to be jealous, but I don't have a choice right now and try to convince myself that this choice and not living in debt the rest of our lives is the best give gift I can give my child and family. And at the end of the day when I see Connor's face light up and yell "Momma!" then I know it's all worth it and he knows inside how much I love him :)

Jill said...

I hate hearing that Coen is having a rough time without me, because I know (just like you) that sometimes they just want their mama.

I'm sorry your having a rough day, but we're here supporting you. We love you and we love those little faces!

Meredith said...

I'm sorry Leah. That just sucks.

 

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