Personal Trend

I seem to make a habit of taking shots of my babies in bed with Tony, but really, how could I resist? This guy was totally worth going downstairs in a groggy state just to fetch my camera.


His smile sets everything right after a sleepless night, although caffeine helps too.
 

Not to family.

Last night, I don't know if I got it right.

Tony was with a friend, Ezra was nursing and Isaac was a little bit of a disaster. Everything seemed to fall short of his approval:

- I poured his milk in the wrong cup.
- I moved the puzzle box an inch.
- I told him he couldn't swing in Ezra's swing.
- I told him he had to keep his shirt on.

All resulted in ear deafening cries and big alligator tears.

Finally, we had a good solid 15 minutes without a meltdown and nonchalantly, I tossed back to Isaac who was sitting at the table doing his puzzle, "Hey bud, I love you."

Expecting a little sweetness back, I was crushed by his defiant "No, I don't love you."

He was on a timeout faster than he knew what hit him.

And as he bawled on the timeout, I also shed a few tears. He had no idea how much those words would hurt me if he actually knew their weight, but the thing was, he did know, a little bit and he said them anyways. After a minute of his crying, I asked him to come to me. Slowly, sheepishly, with his head down and avoiding eye contact he came to my side.

I took him into my lap and I asked him why he had a timeout. He maintained his downcast eyes and told me "Cuz I said 'I not love you.'"

Not knowing what to say, I told him "We don't say that to family, ever. Isaac, you don't tell someone that you don't love them."

I asked him if he had anything to say to me and he quickly replied "I'm sorry." Pressing further, I asked if he had anything else and he said "I love you."
 

Ezra: Four Months

Happy four months little man.


I'll be the first to say that I'm ready for this month to already be behind us. You went from your 3-4+ hours of sleep to waking ever few hours to a smattering of days of sleeping through the night to waking up ever 1 1/2 hours. You're in bed with us, because you're not lasting more than 30 minutes in your crib and while 1 1/2 hours isn't much, it's so much better than a 1/2 hour.

That said, you're still pretty darn cute.


You're rocking the baby mullet, just like your brother did and I'm hoping for some of those sweet curls in due time!


We've had the most beautiful fall for you to enjoy with Isaac.


And even got to enjoy your first bath with him too!


Your exersaucer has been getting quite a bit of use lately, especially since your swing broke. :/


And you're sooooooo close to rolling over, but no dice.


Love you little dude, please start sleeping again. Mama's battling a pretty nasty cold.
 

One Year.

October 25, 2010


October 25, 2011

[sneak peek at our family session with Gina]

What a year it's been. There's so much hurt and anxiety in the post I wrote in December. I can't believe all that has changed and what an amazing blessing we have in Ezra. God is so good.
 

Weekend Recap

Friday night Tony took me on a trail ride. Truth be told, I honestly thought we were going to get in an accident on the way to the stables, because we have tried no less than 5 times to go horse back riding together and inevitably our plans are foiled. Friday night, after 5 years though, it finally happened and it was a gorgeous ride!

Saturday I hosted my mini-sessions and was blessed by an amazingly gorgeous day! I had the most beautiful families and really cooperative kiddos, for the most part. :) Saturday evening I had my 2nd annual wine night, but unfortunately just could not bring myself to even take one picture after wielding it all day.

Sunday morning was the first in a long while that I didn't first have to jet off to a session before church and it was amazing to leisurely get ready. After church we had our family session at the same perfect little park I shot my mini's at. Unfortunately Isaac had developed a bit of a cough and he went down hill fast during our session with Gina. Poor little man. When we got home Isaac crashed on the couch and fell into a very restless sleep. Thankfully after about 45 minutes he woke up and honest to goodness had a 180 degree turn around!

My photography season is winding down now, although I do have 3 weddings in November, and it's just in time, as I'll be passing the baton to Tony as his hockey reffing season ramps up. Every year I learn something new about how to manage my business and family and this year was no exception.
 

Three Frames

We sometimes joke that Ezra would smile at a doorknob. He's just a super happy, smiley little guy. I wouldn't trade these three frames for the word. Thank you for the birthday wishes, it was love filled, complete day.

Tierney it was nice to meet you!  

MishMash

- I didn't mean to be so challenging with the last post! I thought it would be quite easy to determine, but my photography is the last comparison! Between the two years between the shots in the last post, the difference was very dramatic to me. There were some really good guesses though! I will definitely state for the record that I am not pregnant, haha!

- Tuesday night, Isaac fell off of the arm of the chair that I sit in while I nurse and edit. I was in the middle of telling him that it wasn't safe and that he needed to get down, when, bam, there he went. He fell on top of his toy gator and in the 5 seconds it took me to put Ezra down and attend to Isaac, there were already a few pools of blood on the floor. I'm not sure if he hit his nose on the gator or the hardwood floor, but it was bleeding badly. Unfortunately, unlike when he got the nosebleed before, this time Tony wasn't home. I started to fight the urge to panic, as the bleeding continued quite profusely and Isaac continued to sob. I knew I had to get his crying under control, otherwise the blood would just continue!

To make matters worse, he's been battling a stuffy nose lately, so in the middle of crying he would start choking and gagging on the blood and snotty nose. At one point he even coughed and ended up spraying me with some blood. Oh boy, that set him off even worse to see his blood on my face.

After a good five minutes of sobbing and bleeding, I could tell that, thank the Lord, the blood was slowing, so I tried to get Isaac to talk to me about his tractor. He looked at me like I was crazy the first couple of attempts, but eventually calmed down enough to carry a conversation. He's started this phase where he wants to just run around in a diaper before going down for the night, so he had blood all on his body and his diaper, but he would not let me wipe him down more than a dry paper towel!

Augh, it was so scary, but thankfully it ended well. To top it off, Ezra just laid on the chair where I placed him and didn't make a peep. I can't even imagine the scene above if he'd been crying too!

- I dropped my phone in a creek while shooting an engagement session last week and I'm so upset, because I am set for my upgrade discount on November 19th! And when I say upgrade discount, I mean the 2 year one, because I haven't gotten a new phone in two years! I was so excited to move on up to the iPhone, especially since after a $100 Verizon gift card, we'll only be paying $50 . . . until with a month to go, I dropped my phone in a creek. And before you ask, no, rice didn't work. What did though, was this girl offering to let me borrow her phone! So grateful for Sarah! Just a month to go now!

- Oh, and it's my birthday today.
 

Comparisons.

The first, the difference 2 years makes.


The second, both my boys at around 4 months in the exersaucer.

 
And the third, well I'll let you guess the third.

He's listening, sometimes.

You know those moments when your child says something and your world literally stops moving, because you're struck by the weight of the meaning? When you feel the full force of the responsibility of being a parent and understand the impact of your words and actions? I had two of those in the last week with Isaac.

The first happened while we were leaving Tony's parents house. Tony had taken the boys there while I was at my wedding and I met them there, and as a result we split the boys up as we went to drive home separately. Tony buckled Isaac in while I waited and when he finished he waved me out of the car. With his eyes big, he said, "You've got to hear this." I popped my head into the car and Isaac repeated what he'd just told Tony, except I didn't understand him. It wasn't one of his usual phrases or sentences and took me completely by surprise, even though it's something I say to Isaac often. He'd told Tony and then me "God made me one of a kind."

Wow.

He is listening. And even if he lacks the full understanding, it was one of those moments that I hope I never forget, because it was a great reminder to me to continue. I often tell him that I love him with my whole heart, that God made him special and most recently that God made him one of a kind and that there is no one else like him. He heard me.

The second was extremely simple and also happened in the car, also as the boys were separated and Tony and I were driving home from church in two vehicles. This time Isaac was with me and we were talking about going to the apple orchard. I asked him if Ezra should go and in a silly mood, he told me "No." I asked him who was going to watch him if we left him at home and he told me that our dog, Allie, would. I wasn't sure if this was pure nonsense or if Isaac was expressing some feelings of resentment towards his brother, but before I could worry about it too much, Isaac simply said "I love you mama." Que the waterworks.

And I'm tearing up again, because it was just such a happy moment for me. It was the first time Isaac has ever just told me that he loves me. There have always been requests for cuddle time and unprompted hugs and kisses sure, but I have never been told "I love you" without first saying to Isaac or asking him to say it.

Time is passing by way too quickly, but this growing up stuff, it's not all bad.

Pony Ride!

Once upon a time, I thought that if saved all of my change that I could buy a horse, who would live in our backyard. I blame it on all of the $.05 novels from the 1940's that my Grandma gave me, which she purchased from garage sales.

Unfortunately, I never did own a horse, but I spent plenty of time going to Bunker Hills Stables . . .


Wishing for my cousin Kristi's horse . . .


and eventually riding yearly at Roselawn Stables.


We wanted so badly for Isaac to get to enjoy a pony ride when we went to the Anoka County Fair, but sadly they were too spooked by the tractor pull. Without even realizing it, it was all for the best though, because Isaac was able to go to Bunker Hills for his first pony ride, just like me.


I may have teared up, several times. It was a gorgeous afternoon and I was so happy that he enjoyed the ride so much!


Because really, that smile just can't be beat and I hope he continues to enjoy riding!


We've definitely made plans to return next year.


As we were leaving we shared that it was where I had my first ride and that it was also where Isaac just enjoyed his first and one of the managers told us that it was the first 2nd generation first ride that he'd heard of, which made it even more special.
 

Whew.

I.am.tired.

You know the tired that literally makes you sick to your stomach, tired? That tired.

Things have been busy in these parts yes, but more than that, my littlest man Ezra has decided he's too cool for those 4-6 stretches of sleep that he's been blessing me with. In fact, instead of continuing the best habit ever of sleeping longer than 4 hours, which he's done consistently since oh, his 3rd day of life, he's decided to wake up every 1-2 hours. Last night, it was straight up 1 hour.

And I'm reminded that the only way to survive parenthood is to remain flexible, because the only thing consistent about babies/children is their absolute lack of predictability.

Oh the joys.

I mean really, I am joyful. I'm just a very, very tired tired, could be mistaken for too much Benadryl joyful.

Additionally, Mr. Man is |this| close to rolling over, which was when we ultimately decided to bring Isaac into bed with us at 5 months old.


Someone buy me a Dark Chocolate Northern Light Latte, or three.
 

He's got wheels.

This summer, during National Night Out, we stopped by our neighbors and Isaac was able to experience a ride on our neighbor's 4 year old's John Deere 2 person gator. Let's just say there was a full on, completely embarrassing, lung emptying tempter tantrum when we tried to get him to get off and go grocery shopping. He didn't even mind that he wasn't driving it, he only cared that he was on it.

Since then, whenever he sees our neighbors outside, he will emphatically tell us that he can go over there and ride on it. Once I even tried telling him that Aaron had to share with his sister, so there was no room for Isaac, and ever since he's also included the information that his sister wasn't on it!

Needless to say, our boy was mildly obsessed.

My Mom called me a few weeks back and wanted to know if it was alright for them to purchase Isaac a Christmas present instead of put money towards the playground set like we'd earlier talked about. Specifically, she wanted to know if it was alright to buy a gator for Isaac.

Knowing how much he has loved the few rides he's gone on, I quickly agreed.

And to make it happen, when it was more than expected, my brother even went in on it. So, Sunday night during a cancelled session, my parents came over to surprise Isaac. Oh boy, did they.

Isaac was definitely intrigued by the box, happy to see the picture and very certain that he was going to drive it.


But, when we finally convinced him that it was his, that it wasn't our neighbors, and that he could not only ride on it but drive on it . . . well, he was just a little appreciative.


He was full on excited when the box was opened and couldn't wait for Tony and Dusty to put it together!


It was so cute how involved he was as they put it together. He was even trying to instruct them on where to put the decals. He was very certain that the deer went on the front on the hood.


And finally, although it was dark, when he was released to drive it, both my Mom and I were tearing up over how excited he was and perfectly content to drive in the same loop. He only stopped to put leaves in the back, because he was helping Daddy clean up the yard.


I can't handle this. How is my baby old enough to do this?

Every day since he has woken up to talking about it. My Mom says it's the first thing he says when he wakes up from his nap. And completely melting our hearts is how much he looks forward to sharing it with Ezra and letting him ride with him.
 

Oh happy fall.

Somewhere on pinterest I got the idea to do pumpkin initials with thumb tacks. I could only find silver tacks though and so to add a step to the process, I would have had to spray paint them bronze. I just could commit to the project though and was so relieved to to find the solution in puffy paint! I just free handed the initials and was finished with the design aspect in less than an hour, although they did have to dry!

And these pictures turned out just as I'd hoped!


With many thanks to Tony!


Because these pictures, with their smiles, wouldn't have been possible without him!



I just love that Isaac chooses to kiss his little brother!


How can you not smile looking at this picture?


Or um, this one, the reason why Isaac's laughing!?


Oh yes, we'll do anything for a picture. In this case, Tony was "eating" leaves.


How does this happen you guys? He's just so big!


And sooo silly!



Which he clearly gets from his Dad! Who gives a 3 1/2 month old a shoulder ride? My husband. :)


I could just stare into those eyes all day!


One of my favorites.