Thursday, July 14, 2011

I've noticed a theme in many of the comments I've been receiving lately, that I'm making everything look easy or that I'm supermom.

I hate sugar coating anything, so I feel like I need to set the record straight.

Having more than one child is difficult. Having a two year old and a newborn is hard.

As I wrote about earlier, I miss Isaac. Clearly the easiest remedy is to stop bringing him to my Mom's, but the thing is unless we're outside or at the park he's bored at home and with Ezra's unreliable schedule I can't always interact with him or engage him how he needs. Additionally, he wants to go to my Mom's. Every morning and sometimes in the evenings he asks to go to Grandma's, which is a small dagger to my heart everytime I hear it. And so he continues to go. Tomorrow will be the first day that I keep him home with me this week and it's because we have a play date scheduled to get out of the house with Rachel and her two daughters.

Additonally, Tony has been back at work since the day we came home from the hospital. And I really do mean that day, as he was working on projects that afternoon and evening. Having a newborn, especially one like Isaac, let alone Ezra, is certainly easier the 2nd time around. There is familiarity, there is less apprehension, but it's still no piece of cake to feel like you're never caught up on sleep or that your body is constantly in demand. I want to scream everytime someone comments that Ezra looks confused when they hold him, because it's someone other than me. Of course he's confused, he honestly is rarely held by anyone other than me!

There's so much turmoil for me in wanting to disregard Tony's help, because I feel like I'm doing it all. In reality, I recognize that this is absolutely not true, but it feels like it is because I'm doing all of Ezra's care. It's Tony who's doing the male provider thing and wanting to bring in as much as he can, 90% of meal preparation and the majority of Isaac's care, all while with little variety I nurse, change and soothe Ezra.

So, it's not easy. I'm certainly no supermom. I have so much help and I just want to remember how incredibly blessed we are, because this time is too fleeting to be bogged down by any unhappiness. I just don't want any current 2+mom to be discouraged because they're struggling more than what they see from me or seem like I'm establishing an unattainable perfection for those who are pregnant with their second or soon to be.

I'm just so incredibly happy to be a family of four and our blessings are overflowing, so I would much rather that be the focus of my posts!


Jenifer said...

You are all doing so well. I love your posts because its giving me a glimpse into the future and what it will be like when we have another. Granted, Ian will be much older by the time we have another but its nice to see how everyone else is doing. You are great Leah. Remember that.

Jill said...

I'm sorry you feel this way! It's hard work and we just do what's best. You'll get thru it!

Unknown said...

For the record, I think all moms are supermoms. =) (Well, you know, the one's that are actually involved in their kids' lives and all.)

You and Tony have created a Godly home to nurture two precious boys and that is no small feat! I just love seeing your world through beautiful photos and stories, you're quite an inspiration as a mother, photographer and writer.

Anonymous said...

I didn't/don't feel like you are glossing. Nope. Your writing has ALWAYS been very real.

AJ said...

No matter how hard it is, or how much you think you're *not* doing, you are doing a wonderful job. I've seen it with my own eyes. Your boys are happy and healthy, and that's the ultimate goal, no matter who is taking care of them :) It takes a village.

Anonymous said...

This is an awesome post. I struggle with this too - I'm generally a very positive person and so I mostly post positive things on my blog. Not because everything is perfect (it's not!) but because I'd prefer to dwell on the positive.

Thanks for sharing the hard stuff, but still remaining positive. :)

Mrs. Lukie said...

One of the (many) reasons I love to read your posts is BECAUSE you keep it real. I don't feel like you're sugar coating anything at all, Leah.

You're doing a wonderful job & you should be proud of yourself

DianeTaylor said...

Hi Leah I too appreciate this post. I love your honesty and willingness to share your heart with your readers. I never had a second child so I can't really address this by my experience.....but how can this NOT be hard? When we are pulled in so many directions, we have to make a choice. Ezra is loving his mama right now, that is seen in all your pictures together. Have you heard the song "Blessings" by Laura story? I just love it, take a listen and let me know what you think!

Take care,

Molly said...

yeah, I feel ya. I so do. It's not easy. Not at all. But the fact that you have two cuties there in your presence? Well, that's the gift that keeps on giving! And it makes all the hard work, tantrums and tears worth it :)

LC said...

I don't feel like you gloss things over and I really like to hear about others tackling the hard stuff too. As a first time mom, there were/are days where I feel that I'm just not cut out for this mommy thing. But when I hear other people go through it too, especially people that seem to have it all together (which I do feel like you do, girl), it makes me feel normal. So THANK YOU for posting about the good moments and the bad ones. Because it really is your truth, and so many other peoples!

Jessie said...

I remember this. Mine are 21 months apart. You can find my post about life when I first started with two kids on my blog below under April of 2010. It was a mix of many feelings.

Julie S. said...

Brandon had no choice but to go back to work while I was still in the hospital with Brayden- so I can only imagine how you feel times two. This is what I am nervous about. You are making the best of it, and that is what counts. I don't think you gloss things over- your photos are just so beautiful! :)

Helen Joy said...

I've been wanting to post a comment for FOREVER. I just never make time to get on an actual computer and not on my phone and comment.

I haven't stopped reading at all, just not commenting.

I just cried when reading about your miscarriage, as I had one right before that.

I've loved your posts and pictures.

I loved your birth story and all your posts surrounding your birth. You had some of my exact same worries as in, "How can I love another one?"

Don't feel like you are glossing over everything. For some reason, the 2nd baby was SO much "easier" for me. I just knew what to do and I wasn't so nervous. Of COURSE there are hard things (like non stop diapers or dealing with a jealous toddler), but for the most part, you were already doing a lot of that, it's just a little more.

Anyhow, I've really enjoyed your posts lately and I want to comment without feeling like I'm doing it out of the blue:-)

Congrats on another healthy, beautiful boy!

Helen Joy


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