Poor Guy

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

My chief expression man, who can never fail to crack me up . . .
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Does not look this happy and cheery right now.
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Because of these.
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He's got 3 of the top 4 broken through, but is having troubles with the last one. The poor guy has been feverish and it just breaks my heart. He just wants to be cuddled and it's the sweetest thing ever, but I still wish that he felt 100%!

Thoughts on Weaning

Thursday, March 25, 2010

My son has hockey hair.
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I mean like there's no getting around it.
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Certifiable, makes Daddy proud Hockey Hair.
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And people keep on talking about cutting it.
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Which honestly makes me want to punch someone, because they are effectively telling me what I already know: my baby isn't quite a baby anymore. I'm not quite sure when it happened. I can't say that I turned my back on him and when I looked back he'd changed, because I never did. I never turned my back. I've been trying to be aware and living in each moment.

But all this birthday and hair cutting talk gets me thinking about weaning. There are so many reasons, good solid reasons, only a few of which are selfish that drive these thoughts. The most major factor being my relationship with Tony. We have coslept since Isaac was five months and both Tony and I enjoy it. We both like the proximity of our child and I honestly think that nursing throughout the night has been the deciding factor in my ability to breastfeed this long.

Tony without fail mentions weekly that his favorite part of the day is when I leave in the morning and he gets to cuddle his son. I know we made a great decision for Isaac in opening our bed to him and it's rewarded us greatly in return, but I recently heard a quote that stopped me dead in my tracks.

"You can't be a better mother than a wife." Chelsea Cameron


I think that Tony has been allowing me to pour all of my effort into our son and has been left to fend for the emotional discards that I sometimes offer, never mind the physical. Please, if the above quote has hit you as hard as it hit me, don't shy from sharing! It was like a literal lightbulb went off in my head.

While my son does need me, he needs an intact family more. I'm not saying things are/were even rocky for Tony and I, but I am saying that I was not fostering the marriage I know that I want to uphold. My husband needs to know that I am available to him, wholely. This is the primary reason that I thinking of weaning.

I do not feel womanly. I feel motherly. I do not want the caress of my husband, as I feel the stain against my motherly duties. This needs to change. I need to reclaim my strength as a woman and a mother, not only a mother. Maybe I am the only one who struggles with the demands of my body as a woman, wife and mother, but I highly doubt it.

I think we'll start dropping nursing after Isaac's birthday and transition him to his crib [the long, long, long ways a whole floor and half our house away]. I will forever cherish my bond with my son, the need and comfort he associates with me in a role that only I can fill. For his sake though, it must end. And let's be clear this is not just about boobs or sex people, there's a lot of emotional issues to be taken into account.

[The above quote is not to suggest that a woman should endager her life or that of her children to stay in an abusive or dangerous situation.]

Wednesday, March 24, 2010


Wedded Wednesday is a collaboration
of married bloggers sharing their inspirations,

anecdotes, struggles and thoughts regarding
the amazing union of two separate people, as one.



Gross. I just realized that I completely forgot about WW this week. I was home sick yesterday and for some reason today does not feel like Wednesday, nor Tuesday, but actually Thursday.

I've got nothing to contribute to this post today. I was thoroughly frustrated with Tony Monday/Tuesday due to his "caregiving" skills. We've talked it through, but I don't think I can speak on it and spin it to a good light.

I look forward to reading your posts!


Spring Mini Sessions

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

There's only a few weeks left to fill up Leah Maria Photography's Spring Mini Sessions. I'm so excited to offer this opportunity, as it's a pretty big step for me!
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The space is a fabulous studio, with gorgeous wood floors and exposed brick, with good space to venture outside if the weather is amiable.

I really do mean [YOU]! Anything really goes: bellies, babies, family or pure love, let's even throw in headshots or senior sessions!

Session Details:
$75 ($35 deposit due at booking)
Includes:
20-25 minute session
Editing of images
10-20 high-res images on a CD with full printing rights

Please email leahmariaphoto@gmail.com to reserve your time today!

It's a Monday. For sure.

Monday, March 22, 2010

Friday I was blessed so tremendously much by my Mom and Stepdad. They became investors in Leah Maria Photography, by purchasing a lens for my use! I've been renting a lens over the weekends from West Photo, which has worked out great. Unfortunately the cheap rental fee of $25-30 adds up quickly when you factor in that I must also drive downtown and park both Friday and Monday in order to pick up and bring back the lens. So instead, I will now be paying my Mom back for the lens, instead of just tossing the money away.

I had a whirlwind weekend, with two photography sessions, a birthday party, church, lunch with family and a teething child. It's no wonder I'm working on feeling better right now!

This morning then turned into nightmare. Okay, fine, not nightmare. :) I woke up and immediately did not want to go into work. More so than a normal Monday. I pulled myself together, but just missed the 2nd to the last bus having to wait for the last bus of the morning. About half way to the bus stop from our house I realized I left my pump at home. Upon retrieving it, I knew there was no chance for me to catch the bus. This of course meant I would have to drive in and that I would just miss the end of early bird parking since I work 9-6 on Mondays. How gross is that? All basically before the day even began!

Snapshot.

Thursday, March 18, 2010

- Isaac has started to clap, just within the last couple of days! We've been working on "more," and while he would get excited at the word and motion, he never quite mimicked the motion. He still hasn't now, but I think that as he masters the clapping motion that we'll see a quick connection!
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- In addition to this, the sweetest/most heart breaking thing Isaac is now doing . . . is reaching for me. He'll now outstretch his arms to me, combined with the body lean when someone else is holding him. Oh it just gives me the warm fuzzies to see his desire to be with me.
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- Birthday party preparations are well underway! We're obviously trying to go on the cheap, but unfortunately will have to rent a room so that all of our family feels welcomed. If my Mom were to host it, I know for a fact that my Dad wouldn't come and unfortunately my in-laws are just a little too far east to be centralized. I think I'm throwing myself into birthday party preparations to ward off the realization my baby will soon be one in much the same way that I planned a surprise birthday party for Tony the last weekend of my maternity leave!

- I'm getting my hair done by Tony's cousin at the Aveda Institute today. She's a student, so it's kind of risky, but she can't make my hair look any worse than it does now, so I'm not concerned in the least! It hasn't been colored since Nadia's wedding and you can see I've got about 3 inches of regrowth, bleh. Sucks being cheap!
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- I'm pretty upset right now that my phone is basically out of commission and according to Verizon Wireless I'm not eligible for an upgrade until August. I know for a fact that I bought my phone in April 2008 and even have a blog post to back it up. I need to figure this out ASAP.

Wedded Wednesday | Not to be taken for granted.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010


Wedded Wednesday is a collaboration
of married bloggers sharing their inspirations,

anecdotes, struggles and thoughts regarding
the amazing union of two separate people, as one.

This past weekend we experienced 60* temps. It was amazing. It felt like Spring had unexpectedly shown up earlier than anticipated. Everyone and their brother were walking or running about. The sounds of shrill screams from kids finally released to the outdoors to run crazily about seeking out messes filled the air once again.
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Tony, Isaac and I basked in the sun and went on a nice long walk. Isaac seemed thrilled to recognize his favorite object, trees, were still present and his eyes would light up as he pointed frantically at every overhanging branch.
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It seems that all too often life consists of these moments of bliss. When the sun is literally shining on your face and yet you fail to truly relish it. I most often seem to do this with Tony. I'm really not that appreciate of him, always wanting for something more.

I was reminded of this while we were enjoying the sunshine, because in the back of my mind I kept feeling this nagging reminder that I should soak it up as much as possible. Two years ago we were also lulled by fantastic weather, only to wake up one morning to this. Picture 033

And so the same can be said for never taking for granted the days when the sun is shining on your marriage. You just never know what's around the corner.


Boy's State Tournament

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

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[MIAC game in '09]

I can't believe I haven't blogged this in the past! But I searched high and low on the blog and apparently I never documented that Tony has been selected the last two years to referee the Minnesota Girl's State Hockey Tournament. His ultimate goal in reffing though was to be selected for the boy's tournament, as it's an unofficial family holiday to attend. We have season tickets, as do his closest friend's and even his parents! I mean seriously, the family thinks that the state should shut down like a national holiday for the tournament.

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[a little old, but eh]

I can still remember the phone call. In the midst of some crapola, Tony called me at work and asked, "What could have just arrived in the mail making me really happy?" Of course there was only one thing, a big 'ol envelope detailing his selection!

My man had to look spiffy every day, wearing a suit and tie, starting Wednesday. Each day he learned of his assignment for the next day. Thursday Isaac and I ventured on down to the Xcel and got to watch a few games before Tony's game of the day. He was really happy to be selected to do the Duluth East vs Hill Murray game, a pretty big Class AA game. He even got some face time after he was involved in a two player collision. Somehow a player's skate got his finger and play had to be stopped after the next whistle was blown due to him bleeding on the ice. He had to have stiches!

For his first year, Tony and I were blown away by his assignments. He even got to line the Class A championship. I could not be more proud of him!

Before the stiches, watching a few minutes of the period from the Press Box. Pretty sweet!
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Isaac was proud of his Daddy:
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And tolerated a picture with me:
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The Bathroom.

Monday, March 15, 2010

First a little trip down memory lane, by referencing the before.

Nothing like a little salmon to start your day!
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There were over 12 different colors represented from silver, brass, bronze, gold, black, brown, white, pink, darker pink, beige, darker beige, and blue.
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The long awaited final product! Which included shoring up floor joists, moving and installing new waste lines and plumbing and more than a few things thrown by Tony.
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The beautiful vanity that my father in law crafted for us. We honestly might try to take it with us, if we ever sell.
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[This was the inspiration. We combined the bottom two drawers and they are the perfect depth! A can of hair spray fits perfectly upright and all of my hair appliances fit in the other drawer.]
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He also fashioned this mirror for us.
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The tile turned out amazing. I can't believe we got such a good deal. I didn't imagine that it would ever look this nice!
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And our nice 3 paneled door. Love it.
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I forgot to take a good picture of it, but a la the Rambling Renovators we did a pseudo mission styled design on the glass cover, like this:
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I think Tony did a fabulous job and he's more than happy to be finished . . . I just wish it hadn't taken so long!

Unexpected Blessings

Friday, March 12, 2010

These past few weeks have been a struggle, with a capital S and well, the T-R--U-G-G-L-E too.

For circumstances I have disclosed and a few that I haven't money is ridiculously tight right now. And when I say tight, well, eh we're not making ends meet. Between the extra sessions and Tony's reffing we're making a good go of it though! God is good and we're okay.

In just one of His many ways, my heart was uplifted yesterday by meeting Abbey. We've been trying to get together for a few months, but know the struggle of life steering the calendar. There were a few extra Caribou locations visited, and I needed help from Gina in finding where Abbey was hiding from me, but it was so worth it.

What a girl after my own heart! Abbey has a successful photography business, which apparently is a running theme in my new friends. Hah! Additionally, wouldn't you know, she played soccer and is a confident beautiful Christian married woman. Love it. The conversation flowed so easily, it was unexpected when Isaac clued me in on the passing of time. Poor babe was tired! We had a long day yesterday, but that's a post in itself to come. Abbey thanks for sticking with me, I think we both needed the conversation last night! :)

I hope that you guys all have a fantastic weekend! I've got a wedding consultation, 2 year session and a little shindig in the evening tomorrow!

Wedded Wednesday

Wednesday, March 10, 2010


Wedded Wednesday is a collaboration
of married bloggers sharing their inspirations,

anecdotes, struggles and thoughts regarding
the amazing union of two separate people, as one.


Sometimes, you've just got to laugh because it's all going to crap.


Bathtime Fun

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

It was a long time coming, but Isaac had his first big boy bath just a few weeks back! I haven't had the money or opportunity to truly accessorize the bathroom yet and am undecided if I'll do the reveal post before the "final" because I'm not sure when it'll ever be finalized!

To say that he enjoyed himself is an understatement!
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He was just so curious:
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Baby butt!
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The little chompers:
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He loves his Daddy:
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So very much:
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Of course his favorite bath toy is the shampoo bottle*:
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*Side note, before using Burt's Bee's I didn't think a baby could ever smell better than Johnson's . . . I was wrong. :) Love my little baby bee.

Hairdo courtesy of Tony:
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Those eyes, "Do I really have to go to bed?"
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Speaking of bathtime fun. Did everyone see/hear about this information from Good Morning America? Here's a link to the Video. NASTY. We're definitely taking note of where his toys are stored and will be systematically bleaching them every so often!
 

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