Worthless.

Friday, October 1, 2010

Wednesday night, after my session with Oliver, I met up with my family at my Dad's. For the past three years, my Dad has put on an annual Huntoberfest. It is an exclusive event that in order to receive an invite, one must have hunted with my Dad. We took Isaac, as he joined my Dad in utero while I was hunting, so that fit the bill.

Last year Isaac was dolled up for the occasion, but sadly this year was just wearing non camo articles:
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It was while we were sitting in the garage, idly chit chatting with friends that I demeaned Tony. A friend of my brother's asked about our plans for the future and the state of Tony's employment. At the time he is working 40 hours/week for the company he was employed by when we first met. Although he is not designing for them this time, but rather doing any conceivable task they can put him to to help out.

He's staying busy, but does not have a guaranteed 40 hours/week. We're thankful that so far he has, but know that it could change in a week! Due to working as much as he has, he has not been able to spend much time searching or applying for any other employment, especially in conjunction with my time so much being taken up by photography related tasks.

So basically, we're getting by, just as everyone else is. Just like before, I still carry our benefits. Nothing much has changed.

So, with that aside, when Bryan asked our plans, we launched into our game plan to pay off debt. I butted in as well and expressed the need for Tony to find a "real job." Real to me meaning one that is stable and offers benefits. Ahhh, Tony didn't perceive "real" the same way as I did. Let's just say that it didn't go over very well.

Tony no longer perceives stability from a full time position. He's lost three full time positions and views our current situation to be just as stable as if he were employed full time. When we got home that night I definitely had some apologizing to do.

It broke my heart to hear that he felt degraded and worthless by my saying he needed a real job. Saying flat out, he really works, therefore he has a real job. I need to affirm my husband, not tear him down.

3 comments:

Sky said...

Been there. I hate it when things just slip out and you don't find out until later that you actually wounded someone. Ugh.

Michelle said...

Aw, that sucks, but I admire how you always seem to be in tune with your emotions and those of others and that you apologize when needed and are able to admit when you're wrong. Sometimes I have to really force myself (can you say "stubborn"?) and go into defensive mode when I should just say I'm sorry.

Love your blog- it makes me check myself.

On the job front, it sounds like Tony has a point- what is really stable anymore? But I do understand how you feel less secure- I am the same way, even if it makes little sense in this day and age of little security no matter where you work. I hope your financial situation improves, but in the meantime it sounds like you are both working really hard. You should definitely be proud of yourselves. Sidenote: do you have plans to eventually do photography full time? Looks like you're good at it and building a business for yourself. Good for you.

Alicea said...

Been there, done that. I always keep in mind that men are VERY prideful. Of everything.

 

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