Monday Glumday

Monday, July 19, 2010

You have been grieved by various trials, that the genuineness of your faith, being much more precious than gold that perishes, though it is tested by fire, may be found to praise, honor and glory at the revelation of Jesus Christ.
1 Peter 1:6-7

I've been feeling very tested lately. As a wife, mother, daughter, sister and friend. If feels like I'm going through a bit of an identity crisis, again. Everything appears to have stalled out, except for Isaac's growth and my weight gain. All of my short lived hopes have been dashed and well, to quote a favorite movie "Dreams are what makes life tolerable." I'm trying to pick up the pieces again, but know that I'm not relinquishing my burden to God.

There isn't enough hours in the day to accomplish daily tasks, let alone get ahead. This applies to money as well. When doesn't it? I'm reading Bring Up Boys by Dr. James Dobson right now and a particular chapter and analogy have particularly struck me. An excerpt from the book:

"The great French naturalist Jean-Henri Fabre once conducted a fascinating experiment with processionary caterpillars, so called because they tend to march in unison. He lined them around the inner edge of a flowerpot and then monitored them carefully as they marched in a circle. At the end of the third day, he placed pine needles, which the favorite food of caterpillars, in the center of the pot. They continued walking for four more days without breaking rank. Finally, one at a time, they rolled over and died of starvation, just inches from their ideal food source.

These furry little creatures remind me in some ways of today's moms. Most of them are trudging around in circles from morning to night, exhausted and harried, wondering how in the world they can get everything done. Many are employed full-time while also taking care of families, chauffeuring kids, fixing meals, cleaning the house, and trying desperately to maintain their marriages, friendships, family relationships and spiritual commitments. It is a backbreaking load. Sadly this over-committed and breathless way of life, which I call 'routine panic,' characterizes the vast majority of people in Western nations. "

Now I've never much liked butterflies, but boy, oh boy do I liken myself to a caterpillar today.


Molly said...

Totally feeling rushed and unable to do it all right now. I suppose that's to be expected. But having to go back to work 8 weeks after having a baby was my choice. Or was it?

There really was no way I could say no to a good job offer in this economy. It's sad when 8 weeks has to be enough.

Randi said...

I'm feeling the same way in my own identity. thinking of you Leah! its tough. thanks for blogging about it, it always feels a bit better when others can relate!

abby said...

Aw I'm sorry you're feeling glum :( Hope your week gets better - I'm thinking of you!

Unknown said...

I'm reading that book too and just finished that chapter. Great minds think alike :)

I hope life slows down a bit for you. I know what it feels like to always be going somewhere/doing something. Hang in there. Keep will get better.

Alicea said...

That is so true. Mom's today have a hard time breaking from their pattern when it comes to doing anything for themselves. I keep telling myself I'm going to book a spa day (I even have a gift card burning a hole in my purse), but I've been saying this now for almost a year. Very sad. Maybe for my b-day in August...

Hang in there!

Julia Goolia said...

I want to read that book!

Hang in there, caterpillar mama. You can do it!

Amy said...

i have to check out that book, sounds fabulous. i like that part because it is nothing short of the truth. i've only been a mom for 8 months but i have yet to find a balance betweeen work, baby, and everything else that is imporant in life. Parly if our maternity leave didn't suck so much, we could have had a year off or so. Im thinking of moving to Cananda soon :)

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry. I pray it slows down.

Meredith said...

I think "routine panic" is the perfect way to phrase that rushing around.

Thinking of you :)


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