Hope from a First Time Commenter, EK

Friday, July 30, 2010

I've had so many wonderful comments from first timers lately. I remember, as I've shared recently, commenting for the first time on another blogger's post. I didn't know her, it felt odd, but commenting burst a bubble of anonymity and well, here I am now.

Awkward segue.

The picture and video that I posted last week are wounds that I continue to pick at. The picture gets me every time because I can just see my happiness and it kills me to know that there are no more progressive pictures. The belly picture was supposed to be the beginning. This time would I get stretch marks? Would I be able to discern a difference in how I carried or would it be similar to Isaac? Instead the picture was also the end. I'm so glad that I have it though. It will never be confused with a picture from Baby Bless' development.

The video though . . . oh does that video of sharing with Tony rip me to shreds. I can't help but watch it though. It's like watching a movie, er, I mean it is a movie, but one where you know the accident is just around the bend and you want to tell the joyous couple to slow down a bit, enjoy those last few seconds of naivety. Again, just like the picture, I can't bear the thought of not having it though. We will never again be able to celebrate with such abandonment. Every subsequent pregnancy will be tinged just a bit with the flavor of loss. We will not be able to go back in time and erase these emotions that we are experiencing, so I'm forever grateful that I can at least view us as we were.

Something that I never expected from my first and only picture was hope. I received this comment from EK, a bloggerless commenter who I am forever indebted to for her strong step of faith. She wrote:
EK said...

Leah,

I've never commented before, but I wanted to let you know that I've lifted you up in my prayers.

As I came back to your post today, I took a better look at the pictures you put on. Maybe it is just the way it looks on my screen, but I see a distinct cross on your belly photo of Josiah.

The calm that came over me when I saw that spoke volumes. I can just picture Josiah in heaven walking hand in hand with our Father. I hope you find comfort in your earthly friends and heavenly father as you go through the grieving process.



I'll let you take a look for yourself.
IsaacJuly 045
Do you see it? I do. Obvious as day.

I received the comment just as we were clearing our plates from dinner and didn't know what to expect when I went to review the picture, calling out to Tony, "I just got a comment that there's a cross on my stomach." He came over to the computer just as I pulled the picture up and we both were brought instantly to tears. It doesn't matter that we realize how the cross was produced [the privacy film on the bathroom window we decoratively installed ourselves, debating on simplicity or complexity of the design], because the odds of my taking the picture in the bathroom, as opposed to Tony taking the picture as we did with Isaac, at that time, at that angle, facing the window, on a sunny morning, when we'd been rain-filled? They are overwhelmingly against us. God knew though. He provided us this source of reassurance, in someways a personal rainbow, guaranteeing His guidance in our life. God had marked Josiah as His own from the very beginning. He was truly too special for earth, although we long to join with him in Heaven.

EK, whoever you are and I apologize if I should know, we are truly thankful for your acting on this prompting to share. This touched us profoundly.

22 comments:

d.a.r. said...

This gave me crazy goosebumps!!

L.C.T. said...

I think that's absolutely amazing, and yes, I see it now too.

Kristal said...

Goosebumps for sure. Amazing.

Randi said...

wow. that is just the coolest thing I have seen in a long time.

to me, it brings a great sense of comfort and faith.
he is amazing.

I'm Molly said...

I didn't notice! An amazing reminder that God is with us even when we don't know it. Our brightest days AND our darkest.

Sarah said...

Not to sound repetitive, but that is AMAZING and so beautiful! What a beautiful sign of His presence! I am so glad this blogger noticed.

Meredith said...

This really brought me to tears this morning. Incredible.

Patience said...

That gave me goosebumps too.

Sky said...

Hi Leah,

Here's another lurker coming out of anonymity (sp?). I stumbled across your blog and instantly recognized you as my husbands favorite server from a restaurant from so long ago. I just wanted you to know that I appreciate your heart and willingness to be real in a culture that spends most of its energy trying to be anything but. You are an encouragement. Also, I am so sorry for your loss, and praying for you as you continue this journey.

julie said...

Leah, this post brought tears to my eyes. What an amazing glimpse into the presence of our Lord and his plan for our lives. Much love to you!

Mrs. A said...

and I'm in tears what a beautiful beautiful gift to see.

Ole Miss Mom said...

I love when our God from the spiritual world shows up in the natural world and confirms things! He is SO awesome! Gave me goosebumps reading this post!

AJ said...

Wow. How awesome is that? Obviously you know :) What a sweet little boy, that Josiah. I've been thinking a lot about you.

abby said...

Wow that is very cool!

arsenalfamily said...

I totally see it and that is really amazing. I read the last few posts and my goodness gracious are you taking charge of your life! It is awesome to see God moving, even during the difficult times. And Dave Ramsey rocks!

nursekj said...

Oh that is so awesome. That brought tears to my eyes and gave me major goosebumps!!!

Andrea said...

Wow,wow,wow!! [That's all I can really say at this point....]

D. Ramblings said...

MAJOR goosebumps. That is simply amazing.

Erin said...

I'll just repeat what everyone else has said - WOW. That gave me chills, too - it is there, clear as day.

Jeannie said...

Reading this gave me chills...I have not noticed before.

How amazing though!

CaitStClair said...

Oh wow! That is incredible! I hadn't noticed it before either but it is definitely clear as day! What a wonderful gift!

Karen said...

Leah,

Thanks for sharing your loss with us readers. I bawled as I saw the cross on your stomach and just got down on my knees and rededicated my life to Christ.

 

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