Boundaries

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Tony and I aren't by nature what one would identify as organized. Let's not stop there though, we're also not planners. There is no five year plan, let alone a 10 year plan. We kind of just seem to go willy nilly through life. Giving our all, even when misguided.

It should come without surprise then that our parenting is just as organic. There is no basis for the discipline we apply or do not, just as we haven't put much thought into whether he is being stimulated enough or not. Don't get me wrong, I do read articles and know what are acceptable habits and at what point a child can understand right or wrong, so we're not disciplining unjustly. With my Mom's help and observing children in the same age as Isaac, I know he's developing right on track, but I just want to make the point that we're not over doing it.

One thing though that I have mandated for both myself and Tony is that while Isaac is in the vehicle with us, we will never go more than 70 mph. The speed limit on most area highways is 65 mph and it is easy to join the flow of traffic in excess of 70 mph, but we have agreed that nothing is more important than our safety. It may seem silly to impose such a rule, especially when it is still admittedly speeding, but it has really changed our outlook.

First of all, it establishes that there are important and not so important things to life. Our family, our safety, and the safety of others being some of the former and 5 minutes of being late being the latter. The fact that it is so easy to slip past that threshold also provides a constant reminder of those important things; the conscious decision to remain at 70 reinforces the idea. It also means being mindful of the time, not allowing ourselves the opportunity to make up for the squandered time at home on the road.

Basically we're acting like adults now and it's good, because we have a child.

Boundaries are also beneficial in fostering trust. I really appreciated the responses I received to the post on Monday and wanted to clarify the sense of censorship that I feel I have self imposed. To some extent it is the normal, taking into consideration what is appropriate to be known of myself or my family, especially our marriage, which I agree is appropriate, but I think the largest concern was that I have watered down my posts to reflect what will garner more comments. I have refrained from shooting off quick posts because I thought they would receive a lax response or delayed a post from Friday afternoon to Monday in attempt to have it viewed by more. It is not prudent to the blog I have developed and needs to stop.

1 comment:

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