Sacrificial Choice

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Tony and I have fluctuated waking order too many times to count in our marriage. Sometimes I must rise before him and vice versa. While the commute or scheduled work hours may be out of our control, there is one thing we know for certain: When Tony must wake first, good things do not follow.

Tony is a notorious snoozer. I, on the other hand, like waking up at approximately the same time everyday at the first bell. Not only is Tony a problematic snoozer, but he is a cuddle bug. When he finally does wake, nearly 30 minutes after the first alarm chimed, it is then time to transition to the snuggle phase of preparing for the day. When I wake first, there is no cuddle time, I'm already out of bed because my alarm went off.

Now, I'm not saying that Tony's approach is wrong or that mine is right, but I am just going to flat out say that Tony's doesn't jive with our work schedule. Tony is now the first one dropping a child off at my Mom's, which means that he needs to be accountable to the time he told her he would arrive or if not, as is most often the case, he jips her of sleep by getting up way too early. In addition to this, I'm delayed from getting ready for work because I'm watching Isaac as Tony terrors around the house trying to make up for lost time. And then, he'll remember that he doesn't have a belt on or can't find his wallet . . . so now, not only is my Mom waking up earlier than she should have to, I'm barely catching my bus and am doing so with wet hair.

I made a choice last night.

I will now be the first to wake up. I shouldn't have to. I should be able to enjoy a few extra minutes cuddling with my baby boy, but if I do I know that Tony will not get out of bed to allow the time necessary. Instead of just getting up early, I decided to do something for myself. I got up at 5:30 this morning and went for a quick 2 mile jog. As the sun was rising, it was a gorgeous 55*, and all was right in the world as I spoke with God in the calm.
crisp morning

I haven't run since I experienced the problems with my knee over a month ago, so it hurt. I haven't prayed consistently in who knows when, so it was awkward. My body rebelled against my demands for more speed, just as my flesh told my soul that my prayers would fall to deaf ears. Within minutes both were silenced. My legs remembered their imperfect running form, still compensating for my knee mildly and relished the chance to lengthen and contract their muscles. And God met me on this run, enveloping me in encouragement and love.

I didn't want to give up almost an hour of sleep, just so that my grown man of a husband would get out of bed on time, but I made a sacrificial choice and learned that ultimately I have the most to gain.

In much the same manner, I have made the choice to let Johanna continue Wedded Wednesday's on her blog These Prices. The concept has changed a bit from my original intention and I no longer feel that I can continue to guarantee a useful Wedded Wednesday post. In the same vein that I wrote about on Monday, I would like to focus on my desires for this blog, including the option of not posting on Wednesday if it so happens. I was so encouraged to read that Wedded Wednesday's have helped foster community and allowed so many of you to know that you are not alone in your struggles. For this reason, I think it is really important that under Johanna's direction Wedded Wednesday continue. I'm sure that I will still churn out a fair number of posts regarding marriage, admittedly hopefully no more about our sleep habits, in this space regardless of the day though, so have no fear.

Sometimes a sacrificial choice is for the good of all involved!


Julie S. said...

What a beautiful post. While I am sad that you are not hosting Wedded Wednesdays anymore, I totally understand. You are so right- sometimes a sacrificial choice is good for all involved.

Kier said...

Early morning runs are so calming and a great way to start the day - glad you were able to get out!

Randine said...

Dang, I just started WW too! Its been good for me and gives me some material so I am glad to have had your inspiration :)

Great post. I am glad you get some YOU time in the morning. I think youll find that you actually needed it more than you thought. <3

Mrs. Lukie said...

I love the ways God works in our lives. I will definitely miss you hosting WW, but know that the sacrifice you are making is for the betterment of you and your family.

So happy you were able to go for a run this morning, and do something for you.

Lauren said...

So glad you were able to experience some joy this morning...even if it did include getting up at 5:00 am!

Meredith said...

Leah, I am laughing so hard about your little '2 mile jog' after not running in months....because I have been running every day, and I feel like two miles is a major feat!

Seriously though, I really understand about the morning routine...that has been the source of many a long talk around this household. I'm sorry that you're in this position, but I hope that something good continues to come from it.

Jill said...

Love this post and miss running... Need to get that back in my life and I need to remember that I can do it alone if I just listen and breathe...

Love your blog. :) You're so sweet.

abby said...

Ah yes, I know about sacrificing sleep all too well. Mike is also a snoozer and will typically be out the door no less than 20 minutes from the time his feet touch the floor (shower included). Which leaves me to get myself, baby and dog ready. I do it because sleep is more important to him than to me - truly.

You make a morning run sound so nice and refreshing, I wonder why it's been so tough for me to pull myself out of bed early enough to do it :)

L.C.T. said...

Really love this. And the idea of a morning run and getting up to start the day. Love it.

Jen | Our Life Accounts said...

It sounds wonderful. I unfortunately can well relate to Tony's style. I takes me forever to get out of bed. My whole life, whenever I have attempted to "bounce" out of bed, I have been a mess all day. My body takes forever to kick into gear and I need a good 30-40 minutes before I can even function. Then the next hour or so my brain decides to join the party. Once I'm up, I'm out the door in 15 minutes tops but Hubs has long learned to wake me up once when he gets up and then let me rouse gradually. I have ALWAYS wanted to be an early morning riser, the few mornings I've been able to rouse early, I've been so productive. Unfortunately I hit my stride at night and I get my super charge of energy right when my husband is powering down for the night... :) It'll work great when with a divide and conquer approach with kids and sleeping through the night!

Heidi said...

I have loved your blog since I read it for the first time more than a year ago. I'm looking forward to your coming posts.

& WORD on the husband being a pain to wake up in the morn'. WORD.


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