Wedded Wednesday

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Wedded Wednesday is a collaboration
of married bloggers sharing their inspirations,

anecdotes, struggles and thoughts regarding
the amazing union of two separate people, as one.

Working on it.

Tony and I are really applying ourselves to our marriage right now. We're just at one of those spots - you know, where it's tough. I'm not upset with him and neither he with me, but we're definitely lacking a connection.

When entering marriage, I was very frank with Tony that I would always love him, I just might not be in love with him. I promised to fight through those times though, so that the falling could occur again. By no means are we there right now, this is just a little funk due to difficult circumstances and complacency, but I'm reminded of that conversation.

Marriage is one of the hardest battles I've ever fought, daily. For it must be daily, the choice to love without reservation. We are all broken people, but it's loving past the flaws and continually embracing them wholly. [ps. I totally didn't remember wholly was spelled like that as opposed to wholely.]

We're making a concerted effort to be nice to each other, think of each other's needs, unplug the computer, put away the phones and concentrate on each other. There's been a lot of work lately without much play and I truly believe we have forgotten how to enjoy each other's company to some extent, save watching Parenthood together.

Do you recognize rough patches and communicate through them with your spouse?


Jen | Our Life Accounts said...

yeah, we have a lot of these rough patches ourselves, in fact we just got out of one ourselves. It seems to come with the busy craziness of life... Whenever there is a lot going on it becomes so much harder to maintain that connection and we definitely tend to forget to make an extra concerted effort in those times. Sometimes all you can do is just hang on until you get through stuff. Marriage is definitely a daily battle, a daily recommitment to each other, but I wouldn't choose anyone else to battle it through with.

Meredith said...

Yep, we are on the same wavelength once again. It's so easy to fall into turning on the tv and not really spending time with your spouse--this was what my Wedded Wednesday post is about too.

We definitely have those patches. Last night was the first night in I don't know how long that we had two consecutive nights without anything going on. I told Justin, "This is nice seeing you this much, it's almost like back when we were dating."

Sarah Louise said...

I think our first 1-1/2 years of marriage was a rough patch. It took us awhile to realize it, and then a little longer to do anything about it.

It's definitely a journey with its ups and downs. Our communication was horrible when we first got married. It still can be on occasion, but we realized what the real issue was is that we were both stubborn and unwilling to initiate conversations about our problems. Thankfully that has changed, but it is still hard!

Unknown said...

Shallow comment alert: I love Parenthood. I think tonight is the season finale which is kinda sad. I hope it comes back next season.

Mrs. Lukie said...

Our first 6 months of marriage was one big rough patch. Our communication skills were zilch, I didn't want to be vulnerable with my husband because of past hurts and both of us had too much pride to really sit down and acknowledge that there was a problem.

After going to therapy together to work through those small issues that became large ones, we finally gained the skills necessary to recognize a rough patch before it got out of control and to DO something about it.

Of course, when life gets crazy busy, it's easy to put it on the backburner & deal with it "later." It still isn't easy for us to recognize and doesn't come naturally to either of us, but we both work at it and do our best and maintaining those lines of communication to stay open. It's a daily struggle, and I imagine will always be.

Dana said...

I talked about what works for Mr. J and I in my Wedded Wednesday. Love the new header.


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