Friday, June 5, 2009

Don't we all wish that we knew what the future held?

When Tony and I first started TTC, we thought we were there. That magical place in one's life that you aspire to reach. We had it all, so why not better it by taking the leap into beginning our family.

So we announced with much bravado and jubilation Baby Bless's existence!
What followed in the next few months though, that didn't come from our plan. We didn't anticipate buying a junk lemon Vue putting us back a vehicle and $1400 . . . you know right before learning that my pay was to be cut in half. All around the same time that we put my beloved Bridgit down. This was then followed by learning that our insurance was changing to a high deductible plan, prompting Tony and I into agreement, that I should find a new job. That new job is just that, a job, that I truly believe a robot could do, although with less success. And finally Tony leaving the company as well to pursue a new position within a franchise business.

And then we had Isaac, which I am incapable of explaining his impact.
Now, as I'm sitting here with one week of maternity leave left, I've become very accustomed to analyzing my thoughts and pondering the events of life. For most of you that know me, you know that this is unusual. Self analysis is a trait of my Mom's that I despise and yet I'm finding myself doing the same thing.
Both Tony and my Mom are encouraging me to pursue photography, for a future. And it scares me to death and seems like so much work. And I feel years behind where I should be. And who the heck starts going after their dream when they're a Mom? Isn't it past time for dreams then?
To add to it, Tony's contemplating his options. Even though it was with great consideration that he took this new position, as in months before accepting, he's not entirely happy right now.
I don't know the point of this post . . . Except for uncertanty, that is what we have guaranteed out of this life, especially when we go about making our own plans! The very reason why we are not to live of the world, just in it. God's plans are greater than our own.
Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.


Miss said...

first of all, love that is the promise God has reminded me of OVER AND OVER again the past 6+ years of financial hardship we have endured

second, I totally started/pursued my dreamwhen I had TWO kids =)

i'm just saying........=)

Joi said...

It's never too late to live what you love! Good luck in your journey.

: )

Sarah Louise said...

What a great verse!

My mom went back to school three years ago, with six kids and a father-in-law who was needing more and more from her every day...I think sometimes mom's need to do what they want and desire in order to be the best mom they can be!

I also grew-up with a father who HATES his job. If I have any advice for anyone it is to find something that makes you happy because if you don't it will not only effect you but your family as well...

Sure you're a mom, but that doesn't mean you have to give up on dreaming! Sure, it will probably be hard for a while, but it sounds like you have a great support system and I think it only gets harder to pursue your dreams the longer you wait.

God wants us all to be happy. Sure, that doesn't mean we can go around doing whatever we want recklessly, but it doesn't sound like you and your husband are irresponsible. Maybe you will have to work some odd jobs to make ends meet while you figure out what you want to do, but if you think that a little extra work now will make you happier in the long run then maybe that's okay!

You guys will be in my prayers!!!!! Good luck.

Stephanie said...

One of the reasons I love your blog so much is your love for the future and your family. I really believe this post just solidifies that.

Sometimes we take big risks at the most inopportune times. We sacrifice what the "world" teaches us for what we want. We follow our dreams later than someone else, but it is all God's plan.

I think you would be an excellent photographer. You should do it on the weekends just to dip your toes into it. See what develops.

If it is what God is calling you to do you'll feel it.

Stephanie said...

Thank you for this post. That verse is absolutely what I needed. I've been searching for a job and have had two interviews that didn't turn into jobs and I'm just feeling a little sorry for myself. There's a plan for all of us and we just need to leave up to God. God bless you!

Jen @ RamblingRenovators said...

Of course you can be a mom and pursue your dreams... how else would Isaac learn to pursue his own? :)

Anonymous said...

Everyone goes through this phase at some point in their lives. I've been though it multiple times. My motto:

Do what you love and you'll love what you do.

Ginger said...


you've encouraged me on my dreams to attend Culinary School and now it's my turn to return the favor. If you're doing what you love I think that's all that really matters. You should go for it. If I lived anywhere near you I'd be one of your first customers.

Ashley said...

I know EXACTLY how you feel on so many levels. What's so weird is that I told my mom just the other day that if I could do it all over again, I'd major in photography, and I'd love to own a studio. Weird, huh? Anyway, I understand the dreams-after-becoming-Mommy thing. I'll be praying for you!

Raquel said...

I definately see you as a photographer ! I think photography is one of those jobs where it can be as little or as much work as YOU would like !
And the best could practice all day long on Isaac.

Alicea said...

I think you should pursue your dream of becoming a photographer if that's what you really want to do. What better way to be a stay at home mom and make your own schedule than to be a photographer?

If it makes you feel any better, at 31, after having our baby, I'll be going back to school to finally pursue a college degree in what I want to do with career. Yep, it took having several meaningless corporate jobs before realizing my true passion in life is medicine. It's a very scary thought - going back to school while raising a baby, but if it means having a better job and being happier in the end for both me and my family, it will be all worth it.

All Things Today said...

The verse says it all – “For I know the plans I have for you.” Worried about chasing your dream, now that you’re a mom? Your dreams are part of HIS plan – and this plan doesn’t include any fewer dreams now that you’re a mom.

If you really want to try photography, I say go for it. Take a photography class or connect with a local photographer and ask them to mentor you. Perhaps they will hire you on as an assistant, to learn the trade of the business (wedding photographers who are always looking for someone to take those candid pictures at the reception). Or start with small projects – taking pictures of babies (I think Isaac would be perfect), family members, birthday parties, volunteer to take candid photos at a friends wedding, etc., to build your portfolio. I think people are always looking to help out a new photographer…especially when building your portfolio, because usually your fees are lesser and who doesn’t like being a model for a day?? If you like it, are able to build your clientele and make it your career, think of how much time you will be able to spend with your family. And having the ability to spend more time with your family is completely worthy of chasing your dream.

Heidi said...

Hey, thanks for the comment! I know first hand how hard and frustrating look back or analyzing life can be. Sometimes it's a good thing and Hosea 10:12 is a good exhortation to do it sometimes. I hope that helps! :-)

I sure hope that being a mom doesn't mean that ones dreams or life aspirations are over! I kind of did everything backwards in that I got married and had kids before I knew what I wanted to do with my life apart from having a family. In the last (almost) six years since I was married, I have come to discover who I really am and what my passions are. I know I want to pursue them eventually, probably after my kids are through grade school. However, I will say that the biggest encouragement and support have been my hubby and those around me in my life. Without them, I probably wouldn't care to even try or plan. It sounds like you've got those kind of people in your life, which is HUGE! It will all work out and speaking as someone who really enjoys your blog, it sure will be fun to read about! ;-)

Also (!) if you become a photographer, you can probably work from home and be with Issac more! Yay for free lance jobs and pursuing dreams!

Karen said...

Leah, it is never too late to pursue your dreams, only when you have gone to meet the Lord is that part of your life done. God's is sovereign over all and his will is perfect. Don't be afraid to listen to that inner voice speaking, as it just might be God whispering to you which path you are to choose. Karen Baby's Own Room

Meredith said...

You know I relate, because photography has always been a pipe dream for me as just seems like an insurmountable feat to make that pipe dream into a reality for me...I'm not one to throw caution to the wind and hope that somehow I'll make enough each month to cover the mortgage!

So, I'd encourage you to do what you can on the side for now...take pictures of Isaac, offer to do senior pictures for high schoolers that can't afford to have them done, do family pictures for friends and family. Get your name out there, and start building up some clientele now, who will be able to spread the word down the line.

Katie said...

I was once told me, "Sometimes you have to give up the life you love to live the life that was meant for you." Life changes because God has a bigger and better plan for you :)

Julia Goolia said...

I think "All Things Today" said it best up there. If you are serious about this hobby turning into a career, get your feet wet a bit first. I can tell you first hand that starting your own creative business is tricky and if you aren't careful, the passion can get lost in the gritty details. I've never wanted to make it my full time career [not seriously, at least] but just the pressure of pleasing a client with your 'fun hobby' can get to be a tough balancing act. It's hard to dedicate so much of MY time to something that is supposed to be enjoyable if, in fact, it feels like a JOB. I could go on, but you get the idea.

That said, maybe try a little on the side and see how it turns out? You are right...there is a TON to learn about photography but that will always be the case, right?

Erin said...

I live by that verse. I've always loved wasn't until our IF dx that I truly realized the realization of what the verse truly means.

And it is never too late to pursue ones dreams. I'm pursuing that same dream...and we are knee deep in the adoption process....You can do it! If you want some ideas on where I started-let me know! I'll be happy to help!!!

Helen Joy said...

I can't remember how I found your blog, but I love reading it. Your little guy is adorable!
I usually read blogs on my phone while nursing and usually never get to comment, but I've been thinking about this post ever since I read it.

I am a photographer, and I am so beyond blessed that I am because it would KILL me to go back to a job when all I want to do is be with my baby all the time. I do have job, but it doesn't feel too much like one.

Photography is perfect for a stay at home mom because, you do most of your work at home (editing, setting up shoots, burning, etc.) And then once in a while you get a baby sitter or a friend to take care of him for your photo shoots.

Let me tell you how I did it (if you care at all:-) )
I bought a SLR camera with all my wedding money (four years ago) and took thousands of pictures of anything and everything until I got the hang of it, and then I made a web site and then I just acted like I'd been doing it forever and I acted like I knew what I was doing...when I didn't always. Confidence is something people wont question.

It looks like you already have a pretty good camera and you take sweet pictures, from what I've seen.

The key is to find the perfect pricing. To start out, I would figure out how much you were making at your boring job, and decide your going to make that much money that week with photography. Say you make $400 a week. Just go find 4 Moms (gym, playground, mall, etc,) Tell them you will do photography of their family or kids for $100. I'm telling you, that's a steal for them. Tell them you're just starting but that you are awesome at it...which you are. And in 5-6 hours of photo taking, you have supplimented your income. Just go find people. There are people out there wanting what you have to offer, but they don't know where to find it. Or if they are a busy mom, then maybe it's at the bottom of their on going to do list.
What you were saying about not wanting to be the next person who got a camera and thought they were a photographer...the hairs rose on my neck. That is such a fear of mine. That I will blend in with all the photographers that are going to come up because everyone is going to figure out how easy it is, and how perfect a job it is.
The thing is you are (at least what I can gather from your blog) the kind of person I am. I relational person, a empathetic person, a REAL person. The kind of person that is able to draw those special moments out of complete strangers, the kind of photographer who doesn't just capture people, but also emotions. Those photographers are special and those photographers are different.
You can totally do it! If I were you, I'd go to the mall tomorrow, baby in tow and find at least one Mom who is willing to sit for you. Don't go back to your job! That makes me so sad for you and I don't even know you!

I know I'm just some random blog reader, but I'd be happy to answer any questions you'd have about starting up a business. I did it the quick easy way, but it has paid off!

My web site is:
my blog is:

and my email is

Good luck! Please share your gift with the camera and with people!

Chels said...

Do what you love and love what you do. Life is too short to live it any other way.

Life can never be about plans and the things that are supposed to happen. When you makes plans, life just gets in the way or you find out that your plans are not God's plans.

I am excited to hear more about this new adventure!

Mrs. McB said...

I love this post because Mr. McB and I are going through the same point in life (- baby). I totally understand your thoughts and feelings and will be praying for you through this time.

MyRunningJourney said...

As scary as it is to try new things, you never know what great things will come of it until you try! Based on your blog pics, you are an amazing photographer, and what more could you ask for than having a wonderful husband, beautiful child, and job you love? That is NOT easy to come by. God always provides, and He will guide you in the direction you need to go.


Blog Design by Nudge Media Design | Powered by Blogger