Thoughts on Motherhood

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Well, I'm a little more than a week into this gig and I've had more revelations about myself, my husband, my family, my faith and my God than I have experienced in my lifetime before it.

I think there is only one opinion that most can agree with regarding childbirth and motherhood, nothing can prepare you for it. Not your Mom's constant tidbits nor any amount of reading {in fact, I think data dumping only increases the information you'll jumble up lol}.

Everyone's experience is different, but for me, the moment that he was placed in my arms there was instantaneous love. It didn't matter that he was bloody or that his face was swollen. He was mine. As Tony bawled on my shoulder there was no need for words, I could have been robbed of my senses and still experienced the same joy.

Since bringing Isaac home the nights have been very interesting. My body has already aligned itself to his 2 hour schedule {with some varience}, so much so that I wake up on the dot without his crying. I'll often find myself half way to the crib before I realize he hasn't made a peep. I'll lay awake in the dark fitfully sleeping until his little grunts allow me to invade his sleep. Unless, like this morning he sleeps for 3 hours and I haven't woken. Those are the times that I tear out of bed in a panic to assure that all is well. I didn't know it, but apnea is common in newborns since they are still working out the kinks of their respritory system.

I've called the nurse line at the hospital at least 5 times now. There was no gradual progression into being my Mother, it was immediate and I have no shame. There is no shame. I have a newborn that I feel completely inadequate to care for and yet was entrusted with!

The world stops when he smiles. I hear it's gas or at the very least just him trying out different muscles, but I like to entertain the thought that my Mom planted. He smiles when he sees angels. :) It's very peaceful to think that.

29 comments:

Sarah said...

Love the photo. He is so adorable!

Thank you so much for writing and being so honest about everything. I love reading your blog and all the honest things about motherhood. It's great to know what motherhood is not always perfect and that you immediately become "super mom" the moment you give birth.

I know I tease my mom about how I was the guinea pig/test child because I was her first, but I am sure I am going to be the same way with my first.

Thank you leah!

Miss said...

Isnt it AMAZING how unprepared we are and yet...they are ALL OURS to care for? Kind of blows my mind that God trusts us so much with these little babes!!

Well written!!

Mrs. J L said...

he is gorgeous! God Bless him! that picture is just so cute!!!

kathleen said...

Well, I think the angel he was staring at when you took this picture was telling him a really funny joke or something. That smile is awesome.

Jen said...

I completely agree! There's nothing that you could ever read in a book or be told that would ever truely prepare you for motherhood. It's so amazing!

Meredith said...

Can we suddenly become independently wealthy, and can I suddenly become a stay at home mom? Thanks much.

Blue-Eyed Bride said...

I'm going to start boo-hooing any minute! So sweet! What a sweet little face. He's all yours!!!

Jeannie said...

OMG! What an adorable picture!!

Randi said...

you are making me so excited!

abby said...

LOVE that picture!!!

So are you saying I can stop trying to prepare since it'll all go out the window anyway? :)

AJ said...

So very, very true. Love the picture. I love baby smiles...I like to think Colin's smiling at relatives visiting him :)

fallgirly said...

I love hearing of your experiences, it helps me not be so scared!

Ashley said...

Isn't it the most incredible thing in the world? Nothing can prepare you, just like you said. We always said that Evy was seeing angels too :o) I'm so thrilled for you!

Joi said...

What a cutie...as always Leah, thanks for being so open and honest!

Dunc said...

OMG, that may be the best baby picture I have ever seen in my entire life :-)

Melissa said...

He is such a cutie!

M and G said...

Thank you so much for all the advice!! And the baby is sooooo freakin adorable! What a wonderful smile!!!! He's so cute.

Alicea (mnbride1013) said...

You are going to be an excellent mother, just like your mom was. :)

Heidi said...

Oh my goodness, goodness, goodness! Leah! He is such a cutie! I literally couldn't get past his picture for several seconds. I'm SO happy for you! :-)

Chelsy said...

I don't comment often...but I just wanted to say your honesty is SO refreshing and appreciated. Any blogger who will talk freely about poop is my kinda gal. :)

Stephanie said...

That is the cutest baby smile I have ever seen! I hope that goes in a frame!!

julie said...

He is so cute! Thanks for writing all of this, it is really nice to hear all of your thoughts! I can't wait for Baby S to get here now!

Mrs. Dirnberger said...

I am a new follower and I have read a lot of your blog (going all the way back to 11 weeks) I thank you for your honesty and I love reading post pregnancy!!! I am hooked! Thanks so much

Kaitlyn said...

Oh my goodness Leah. Baby fever reading 102 with no signs of breaking! That smile!

Rachel said...

I love reading this! I feel I'm reliving my own newborn weeks with Brighton! Which feels like an eternity ago already! I am so thrilled how much you're loving this and how well you're doing :) I love love love that pic! and B had the same onsie :)

Julie said...

Happy Mother's Day! I hope your first one is great!

Erin said...

Happy Mother's Day Leah! Those cheeks are just the cutest!

Q. and La. said...

Um wow! I'm totally coming back to your blog!

Happy Mother's Day!

Mary said...

Congrats!! He is beautiful!

 

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