So this royally sucks.

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Tony's gone. I dropped him off at the airport yesterday. For my easterner's he's in Pittsburgh. I hate the way that I feel right now, which in a word is resentful. I don't know why my attitude changed, when he was presented with the opportunity he was the questioning one. I was the one who knew that he had to go. Because really, he had to go. He will never again have an opportunity like this to ref on a national stage . . . or I should say, without taking this selection, he might never again be able to ref on such a level.

Did you know that refs have resumes? They do. Every high level game, every tournament, every training seminar, they all count. Who knew.

Anywhoo. I'm having fun feeling sorry for myself. I miss him so much and yet I do feel very resentful that he left me (for effect) with barely a month to go. I really don't do well when he's gone, see here for evidence.

I slept the night at my Mom's last night and it was awful. I'm seriously debating whether or not I should just sleep at home tonight. It's a toss up between waking up every hour at home (or more), but sleeping in my bed. Or sleeping at my Mom's again, waking up relatively infrequently, but feeling beat to all heck due to the mattress.

It's not Tony's fault and yet it is. I want an attitude change and a good nights sleep.

19 comments:

AmberDenae said...

Aww, I'm sorry love! I hope that the time goes by quickly!

Do you have a friend who would come stay at your house with you so you don't have to give up the comforts of your bed?

*claire* said...

im sorry! i'm sure that is a tough thing to deal with when you've got a million baby things on your mind.. i don't like staying alone at our house at all (i never have, actually!)

but at least he's making extra money from doing this, right??

Jennifer said...

I'm sorry your having a rough time right now. I've always been one to want to be home and in my own bed I can't sleep anywhere else.

hopeful #1 said...

I'm sorry Leah! You should've gone with him and gone to IKEA!!! That would've been fun for you and they have such cute baby things there!

Do what you need to do to pamper yourself. Stay home or go to your mom's or both if you want... just don't get too stressed!

I'm glad that Tony has this accomplishment under his belt, the timing just sucks!

Madeline said...

I know it stinks when your other half is gone!!
You did a great thing by pushing him to do this!!!
I hope you get a better nights sleep tonight :)

C said...

Aw sweetie this is no fun!! Do you have friends local enough that could help you take your mind off him being gone? Or like Amber said, that could come stay with you?

abby said...

I know the feeling of being resentful yet understanding at the same time. Unfortunately, it's usually the resentful side that ends up showing itself the most! Hang in there and keep busy - I hope the next couple days fly by for you!

M and G said...

ugh..i know how you feel. Its so hard to not be resentful when your spouse is doing something they love and you get left all alone. I feel your pain.

Pray that god will change your heart, thats what I always try to do. (and it works about 50% of the time, depending on how grouchy i am! haha)

CageQueen said...

Aw, I can def see both sides of the issue and I think you shold give yourself a pat on the back for being such a good wife. I am more selfish and would've told my husband not to go. Tony is lucky to have you. I will cross my fingers you get more rest tonight. Poor thing!

Chelsie said...

I'm sorry Leah, that really does suck! Time will fly though and it sounds like its a great opportunity for Tony. Try to keep yourself busy to help keep your mind off of it.

Erin said...

I know how you feel. When John was out of town for business and I was hugely pregnant our dog went on strike. He refused to go to the bathroom without hs Dad...I was so resentful as I hobbled around the block endlessly in the heat. I was so glad to see him when he got home though. He'll be back soon!

Mrs. A said...

no fun!!
I always make the dog sleep with me when Jeremy's gone.

Emily said...

Sorry that Tony's out of town, that's no fun. Hang in there - and good luck with wherever you choose to sleep!

Andrea said...

I'm sorry hon :(

I know how it feels though. When Jim was gone for a week I didn't know what to do with myself.

Hang in there. He'll be home soon. Do something girly that you can't do when Tony's around. One night I went to Target and bought tons of hair products. I then stayed up to midnight curling my hair :)

And um..totally inappropriate..but the homecoming party was pretty rockin too! ;) Make sure to enjoy it!

kathleen said...

Aw, poor Leah. It will be okay. It is good that you can be honest with yourself about it. Self-awareness is the key to not being a total biotch.

:-)

Meredith said...

I totally understand, and I'm sorry. And I recommend chocolate!

Kaitlyn said...

Oh, goodness. You are in my prayers!

TMS said...

Aww I am sorry love!!!!

Leah said...

You definitely have my sympathy! My husband is leaving on Sunday and I will only see him one more time before the baby is born in July. I know it's tough but hang in there. I hope the time will go by fast!

 

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