Updates.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

They're basically on two fronts and completely unrelated, but I'm going to be a lazy blogger and combine them anyways.

1. The Vue: After going round and round, with two dealerships and a viper security installer, Tony ended up with a new lover at our local Saturn Dealership. I now have to make room for a service technician named Brent in our bed because Tony will forever sing his praises . . . and I guess if I slip out of this grouchy mood that I'm in I can see that we have a lot to be thankful for. God showed His hand of provision through Brent at a time that I really needed some encouragement. After thoroughly exceeding Tony's expectations by being curteous, honest and efficient, Brent threw a huge curve ball at us by being exceptionally kind as well.

If you remember back with our ignition problems the dealership that we bought our Vue from had to send it to our local Saturn to be serviced, Brent being the one to do the servicing was able to view just how much we've gone through in the 3 months of owning the vehicle. . . and wanting us to be happy with Saturn took his estimated $450 in computer repairs to $100. He wants us to think of it as a deductible, I only know it for what it is, a blessing.

2. With this in mind Tony and I are honestly considering our options in trading in our Vue for either another or completely different vehicle. I may make some of you uncomfortable by saying this, but I firmly believe God was telling me not to purchase this vehicle. It's not often in my life that I've felt so strongly against something for no reason more than my feeling on it. I'm not sure if it was just to avoid the frustrations that we've encountered so far . . . or for unforseen reasons further down the road, but I don't want to find out.

3. Completely changing gears (haha, car related) here . . . awhile back I wrote what I thought was the epitaph of a great friendship, in fact I believe it to be the most important female friendship of my adult life. In true estrogen fueled fashion, there was a powerful explosion of our frienship, an attempt at reconsiliation, a multitude of hurt feelings and finally on my end, I gave up. I quit. I was through being hurt and I thought I heard through the grapevine that she shared the same feelings.

I'm happy to update that we have put aside our past. I admit that I was cautious when she began to contact me again, I guarded my heart. There's a reason I don't have very many close girlfriends, I always get screwed. It's true, while being a good friend is not the most natural thing for me, I try with all of my being . . . and more often than not I get burned for the effort. Because of this, I can be a very jaded person, always expecting the worse but more often than not fully setting myself up for it through my forgiving heart.

A month or so went by, with us playing good friends, our husbands glad to be able to enjoy each other's company again. There were dinners out, movies in, an invitation to join a Bible study and I still did not know our status. Part of me knew that I may have to move on without an apolgy or further exploration of what went on and the extent that we hurt each other . . . but the other part of me, let's say 25%, longed with all of my being for that explanation. I craved it. I wanted to feel justified in it, not necessariliy for the apology, but to know that pain I felt, to know that she endured it as well. Not that I wanted her to suffer from anything I may have said or did, but that she felt the pain from our separation, from the loss of the friendship.

And I got it. In an email that I read in bed on my blackberry, bawling huge tears of months of pent up pain while Tony held me. It was everything I thought I ever needed to hear. And after I read it, Tony asked to as well, with the same result, minus the sobs, there were just tears, because he had had to endure my pain as a bystander the whole time.

She gives me too much credit for having a good heart. I thought a lot of things while in pain that completely discredits much of the praise she gave me. But I thank God for giving her the strength to reach out to me, not knowing if I would embrace or slap her, and that He allowed me the gracious heart to put aside the transgretions and trust in our friendship again.

17 comments:

Kristal said...

I'm so happy to hear #2 Leah. I've had a falling out with my bff before and it was terrible. I remember the relief of us apologizing to each other and moving on.

Andrea said...

It sounds as though you and this friend have been through a lot. I'm glad you two were able to get past old times and reconnect.

Style Police said...

Are you going to have the Vue destroyed? It sounds from your post as though you feel that God was guiding you away from the car for a very good reason. To that end, it also sounds like you think the car could have been a threat to you - where you write 'but I don't want to find out'. If you feel the car is inherently flawed, will you still sell it to someone else?

Lindsey said...

I am so happy to hear you and your friend worked things out. I have been there and I love when the falling out has a happy ending!

mrs.leah.maria said...

Style police: I'm replying to you here, as you have no blog yourself. I do not have the feeling that the vehicle is flawed, nor do I appreciate the overwhelming sense of mockery in your tone. My conviction is that we were not intended to buy this vehicle and yes, while I would never have used the term, I do view it as a potential threat. It may be as simple as our height with a blind spot, I just do not know. But as I said, I do not want to find out if there is more instore for us. Obviously the market has changed dramatically in the 3 months since we bought it, so it may not be possible for us to be rid of it without a significant loss that we are not in a position to withstand, but I want to exhaust our options.

Chelsie said...

So glad to hear about reconciling with your friend. There is nothing worse than losing a friend...trust me I have been there!

I have no advice on the car front but good luck coming to a decision!

mrs.leah.maria said...

Style police cont: If I did in fact judge too quickly, to thoroughly answer your questions, no. I do not feel it is flawed, I think we specifically should not have this vehicle, and I do not feel as though it would be a problem for someone else.

Jenny.Lee said...

I'm so glad you were able to work things out with your friend. I hope you can remain good friends from here on out. Good luck with the Vue!

CageQueen said...

Go with your gut instinct. If something feels bad about the car, you don't want to learn an even harder lesson, such as going through an accident. I say be rid of the thing. And thank goodness you found an honest mechanic! People often remark to my husband that he is the last one left. Ergo, all of my girlfriends use his services and naturally he never charges them, LOL.

I'm glad to hear you patche dup your friendship. I had one end on bad terms and I regret never having gotten an answer for why I was treated so poorly. A forgiving heart is an amazing thing!

abby said...

A couple of times I've found myself feeling so frustrated and wanting to just give up with a friend. And just then, they will do something that surprises me and makes me wonder why I ever doubted them in the first place. It's a great feeling to have renewed confidence in the friendship but also humbling at the same time!

Good luck on whatever you decide about the Vue, there's no denying you've had some bad luck with it!

Julia said...

eeek, drama in the comments!

Also, congrats on making up with your friend! Girl friend fights are the worst and I'm glad that is behind you.

Joi said...

Leah, I am so happy for you and your friend. What a blessing and wonderful news. So many times friendships can't be repaired---this story gives me hope for a couple of my friendships gone bad. Again, thanks for always being so honest with your blog followers : ) !

Meredith said...

It's so interesting that you post this today. At work, we were just discussing how important it is to listen to those "gut instincts", even when there's no physical proof to back them up. Some people believe that "gut instinct" is just that--instinct. I believe that most of the time, it's God.

At a retreat once, a very wise friend and I were discussing how God speaks to us. I expressed frustration that I didn't feel like I "heard" God speak to me as often as other people seemed to hear God. I didn't know if he wasn't speaking, or if I wasn't listening. My friend laughed, and said "I think you're expecting a billboard that says 'Meredith! Do this!' God isn't going to lease out a billboard to speak to you. He speaks through the little things--the thoughts that you just can't shake no matter how much you try to rationalize them away."

I'm sure you and Tony already have, but pray about the vue.

And I'm so happy you and your friend have reconnected.

Megan said...

I'm in tears reading this! I can only hope that what I've gone through over the past year with my ex-bff will someday turn out like this also.

Style Police said...

I'm sorry if you thought there was mockery in my comment - I was genuinely curious. We had a car 5 months ago (2003 Saab) that was a nightmare & things constantly failed with it, went wrong, etc etc. I had disliked the car from the get-go & 'knew' we shouldn't have bought it. Eventually, after 12 weeks, we had the car destroyed. It had a horrible feeling & I really felt that maybe God was telling me that this car was dangerous. Crazy? Maybe... but you have to follow your feelings don't you?

Mrs. A said...

Leah,

I found your blog as a lurker on the nest. I am in tears after reading this post I know what it's like to loose a best friend. Your post gives me hope.

I have no advice on the car situation but only to say I had a similar experience with a car I bought in 2006 I bought it anyway and it was nothing but trouble. Good luck with the decisions.
And a major congrats on your expectant mother status I love how you told the blogging world and that picture was two adorable for words.
Holy long blog comment.
I guess I had a lot to say.

ka1t_lyn said...

One, I waited until after my last class last nighth to post a comment on this. I didn't know why I was doing that. I had the time but I felt like I needed to leave for class NOW. And guess what? My teacher spent a good fifteen minutes telling us how awful his Vue was and how he lost $5k to trade it in because it was so terrible to have. Might be a conincidence but I don't really believe in those :)

Two, I am glad you are on better terms with her. I know your pain in many ways and I can only have a little hope I may one day have this experience as well!

 

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